The Contractor sent me flowers today…he sent me my favorite flowers. Which makes me feel two things: appreciation and guilt.
Appreciation because I mentioned that black calla lilies were my favorite in passing…it wasn’t even a full conversation..just the sentence “those roses are pretty but I think black calla lilies are better”…and they are expensive and rare.
And guilt because I think he thinks Saturday night was more than what it was….I’m not looking for a relationship (with him at least)….and the flowers make me think he does. I really just needed the release of emotions…plus, in that experience I realized a lot of hidden feelings I have for Texas…that don’t involve me continuing anything with The Contractor.
Should be a more than awkward meeting with him and my bosses tomorrow…