The Leibster Award

images-1Well this is fun!  This Ordinary Life  nominated me for the Leibster Award!  I’d never heard of it before this, and it seems interesting 🙂

Part of the Leibster Award is to answer 11 questions provided by the person who nominated you, provide 11 questions for the 11 blogs you nominate and then provide 11 random facts about yourself…I figured since most of you only know the sexual side of me it might be a good way to get to know me otherwise.


Questions about Me:

1.    Why did you choose your chosen career?
– Honestly it started back in college with laziness…I didn’t want to do the math requirements for a business degree so I went into communications

2. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
– San Juan, Puerto Rico…The weather, the rum, the beaches…need I say more?

3. What are your favourite things to do on your days off?
– I do nothing usually on my days off, so my favorite things are binge watching netflix and “diddling” myself lol.

4. Can you sing?
– I can, I actually sang in a choir for 7 years when I was younger and sang at a few weddings as an adult.

5. Who is your hero/heroine?
– This is tough. I honestly don’t think I have a hero/heroine.

6. Do you get along with your parents?
– Sometimes…it can be contentious, but also perfect harmony…its a very weird relationship that’s working through issues of co-dependency and emotional abuse.

7. What is your favourite band/singer?
– All time favorites are:  Papa Roach, Otis Redding and Dustin Lynch…weird choices I know lol.

8. Have you ever won an award for a sport?
– I placed second in an ice skating competition when I was younger, and the step team I was on in high school took first place at a step off…

9. Do you have any special talents?
– hmm…some say I have a special talent of spotting married men from a mile away…but realistically its probably my double jointedness or my ability to polish off 4 bottles of Fuzzy Navel Boone’s Farm in under an hour….because I’m classy.

10. What is your favourite book and why?
– Shit…I read so many books this one is hard.  Can I chose three?  I did with favorite musicians…so I’ll say I can.  I think its between Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, Four to Score by Janet Evanovich and this book on Voodoo I got when I was in college.

11.    If you could ask for one wish, what would it be?
– Gonna go with true love.  To not have to go through dating and heartbreak anymore would be super…

11 Random Facts about me:
1.  A member of George Clinton’s band offered to take nude photos of me and when I declined he showed me the nudes he took on his phone of other women….it got weird.
2.  I used to want to be a trophy wife and put that down as my dreams/aspirations in my 6th grade year book
3.  I love all things Rockabilly and pin-up
4.  I’m overly communicative when it comes to my feelings…i feel everyone should know how I feel at all times regardless if they care. (Probably why I started this blog lol)
5.  I would rather sit in silence reading with my partner sitting next to me doing something on his own than try and have small talk
6.  I loathe small talk
7.  I’m so open with my sexual preferences that I was asked to leave a local chain restaurant because the table behind me didn’t want to hear about how I was tied up for 6 hours and was punished with hot wax and canes.
8.  I wear black every day of my life…not because I’m supposed to for work, but because I’m lazy and black matches everything.
9.  I’m allergic to every food that tastes delicious and have to eat a heavily vegan diet…with the exception of meat 🙂
10.  Once I make my mind up about a person’s place in my life, its hard to make me change my mind. I’m stubborn when it comes to people I let into my inner circle.
11.  Even though you’d never know it by looking at me know, I used to be into gangs and did some shit I’m not proud of…and while I’ve given that lifestyle up, if you piss me off I’ll go from 0 to Pissed off hood rat in 2.5 seconds.

Blogs I nominate:

1.  Gardner’s Blog

2. Cinnamonandsparkles

3. Cuckold Fantasies

4. enaandtraccihowds

5. Missionary Impossible

6. Thisishowwemonday

7. Marissa’s Music Minute

8. Sexual Maniac’s Anonymous

9. Tales of a Slut Wife

10.  PlantPage

11. SimplyWithout

My questions to them are as follows:

1.  What is one thing you wish you had done differently and why?

2. In your opinion, why is the sky blue?

3.  Favorite thing to drink on a hot, summer day?

4.  What is your favorite memory from childhood/adolescence?

5.  What is the biggest thing that has led you to this point in your life?

6.  If you could be any cereal, what would you be and why?

7.  What is more important and why:  Perception or Reality?

8.  Favorite show to watch?

9.  Last book or blog you read?

10.  Least favorite food you’ve eaten?

11.  Favorite destination you’ve been to or want to visit?


Mystery Man

So long story short I threw my back out Friday and have been in constant pain (bad pain) since then.  It all accumulated today when I had to fucking roll and slide out of my bed (a three foot drop to the ground), army crawl to the stairs, slide down those, and army crawl into my kitchen to find food because I’d been awake for 8 hours and needed to stuff my face.  In between the pain meds, muscle relaxers and down time I’ve spent a lot of time thinking….which is incredibly dangerous for me.  My mind is my greatest weapon when it comes to me being my own worst enemy.

For some reason I keep thinking about this dream over and over in my head that I had last night…

I’m cooking dinner when a man shows up at my door…I don’t know who he is.  Not literally (because according to him we know each other)  but in my mind I can’t make out his features…all I know is he smells like Arber cologne from The Body Shop (the number 1 scent on a man that instantly turns me on).  I greet him with a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug and invite him in.  He’s familiar.  His presence is safe and comforting.

He’s dressed in nice jeans and a dark blue button down shirt and I’m in this drop front black dress and 6inch, red, patent leather wedges.  I tower over him but it doesn’t bother me.

I’m cooking flank steak, Spanish rice and have fresh tortillas warming in the oven.  He picks up a knife and starts helping me dice onions and peppers.  When dinner is ready we sit in front of my window overlooking the bay.  Its a clear night right around dusk and the sunset is creating the warm orange/pinkish glow that accents the lights on the port and city beautifully.  We enjoy our meal and talk about politics, social issues and aliens (don’t ask).

We move over to my couch to continue the conversation, and the topics shift from personal views and opinions to talking about sexual histories.  We spend hours probing each others minds about various fetishes, fantasies and desires over a bottles of wine when I decide to kick things up a notch.  I straddle him as he tries to tell me about the time in college that he had a threesome.  I’m kissing him everywhere…his lips to his ears, down his neck, around his collar bone and back up to his lips as he slides his hand up my thigh and under my dress.  I’m not wearing any panties and he takes advantage of that; running his fingers in between my cheeks and gently grazing my backside.  In my dream I’m anticipating him exploring more and my heart starts to race with excitement. I want nothing more than for him to discover my body.  To find out how to touch me and where to touch me to elicit the responses he wants.

I can feel him hardening under me with every movement of my hips grinding into him.  I start to unbutton his shirt and run my hands over his chest and through his dark brown hair…I love a man with chest hair.  Jesus-fucking-Christ do I love a man with thick chest hair.

He tells me he’s missed the feel of my skin in his hands, that he missed the way I sucked on his ear…the way I moaned when he used to bite my bottom lip and the he way I move my body when he runs his hands over my lower back and ass.  All I can think about is how familiar this is.  How much I’ve wanted this from him…and even though I’m inches away from his face I can’t tell who he is.  The lights are down in my apartment and the only illumination is coming from the lights of the city. 

I work my way down his body as I’m unbuttoning the rest of his shirt until I get to the waist band of his pants.  I look up at him and smile. I want what’s under his pants.  I want to worship his cock and show him how much I love it.  He puts his hands in my hair and tells me, “do what you want baby”.  I take my time unwrapping him.  I’m excited and want to savor every moment and I can’t take my eyes off him.  He’s studying me, watching my hands and my face….I secretly hope he can’t tell how much I want him.  I hope he can’t see the anticipation in my eyes. 

I pull his pants and boxers off and he’s rock solid in all of his glory and I can’t help but smile as I take him in my mouth and swirl my tongue around his head.  I love the sigh he gives me as I make my way down his shaft, working my hands in a circular motion around his base as my head bobs up and down on him.  When he grabs my head he doesn’t force me down on him, he doesn’t try to control me, he just holds onto me like I’m whats keeping him connected to this world.  The longer I have him in my mouth the less I want to stop myself.  I stop to tell him how much I love his cock and how perfect it is and he just smiles at me and tells me to “come here.”  I don’t want to stop but he gives me a little yank on my hair. 

As I stand up he grabs my hips and lowers me onto him, slowly until he’s fully inside of me.  I start rocking back and forth with guidance from his hands on my hips and I can already start to feel the ecstasy building inside of me. He’s controlling the pace and keeping things slow, but his grasp on my body is getting tighter.  He moves his hands up my back and pulls me into him so my breasts smother his face.  He takes my nipple in his mouth and bites down gently, enough to send a shiver up my spine adding to the pleasure I’m already experiencing.

He starts to increase the pace I’m riding him at and I can’t control myself anymore. I’m right there on that edge, teetering back and forth as I’m riding him…everything is being stimulated and he grabs my face and kisses me.  He can tell I’m going to cum soon and tells me to wait for him because he’s close too.  He wants to look me in my eyes as he pushes me over the edge. My body explodes and shakes uncontrollably as he drags my hips across his lap in short, disjointed strokes.  I’m hot and sweaty and collapsed in a heap on him…

We sit there for a while, in silence…blissful silence.  He strokes up and down my back with his hands as I kiss his shoulders and its just perfect and comforting.


Then my horny ass woke up in pain and it was over.  Just like that.  Stupid fucking subconscious.

Who was that guy in my dream?  Why was the sex so incredible? It was so gentle but that orgasm was fucking fantastic…Why was I cooking Mexican food instead of something that’s more my style?  Why wasn’t I able to make out his face?  Why did he feel so safe and comfortable?  Why didn’t we get in bed?

So many questions and ZERO answers god dammit.



OKC, Sir…

One thing I enjoy about being on OKCupid is the propensity for men to act out their fantasies….most men think they’re this real life Christian Grey, when in reality all they want is to talk the talk…

One guy messaged me from Vancouver, CA and we went from talking about Daniel Day Lewis to him jumping straight into “owning” me…..Now, because this is the internet I happily obliged him…

Truth be told I miss being owned and sometimes I struggle with the want going back to that and having a “normal” (whatever the hell that means) relationship with men.

But it was fun while it lasted with him….

The Contractor – Spanking

The Contractor is really doing the most right now….on top of the black lilies he sent me, he took me to a casual lunch this week AND bought me these beautiful poppies (IDK why)….so last night when he called me and asked if I wanted to come over so he could cook for me – actually he told me, “I’m cooking, be here at 7:30” – I gladly obliged.

I’ve never been one to enjoy lots of gifts, dates or gestures, but he’s trying hard and I figure it’s not bad to show some appreciation every now and again, right?

So I get there, we eat (a simple sautéed chicken with cilantro, lime and rice) and watch TV. We’re both sitting there making casual conversation when he tells me the reason he’s come on so strong is because since he and I hooked up he can’t stop thinking about it…Through the conversation I kind of express my hesitation to date him (I could get fired) but I’ll admit…my ass only recently stopped throbbing from him last weekend and it was delicious (the feeling and the food).

Just like the weekend before, talking leads to kissing which lead straight to me being bent over his lap getting spanked.

Each hit was extremely calculated…alternating one cheek to the other, his hand striking in the same spot each time. The more I squirmed around the softer his spanks were. He told me that if I really wanted it I’d, “have to take my punishment like a woman” …I don’t think he knows what punishment is because this was nothing but pleasure for me. I was turned on and ready to go and was loving the attention from him but he refused to do anymore than that.

He kept me there, on his lap, spanking me while we were watching Lost Girl for hours. He got to a point where he would hit me intermittently with no real rhyme or reason to it…. I did feel him at one point getting hard, at which point I tried my damnedest to wiggle around enough so that I might be able to get my hands down his pants but to no avail. Ugh. I just really wanted him to give me a repeat of last weekend….but no. When he got tired and his hand got sore from spanking me all night, we went to bed where he spooned me and rubbed my tushy and talked me to sleep, which I’ve actually come to love since being involved with Texas…so thanks for showing me the softer side of sleeping with people lol…

And even though all I wanted was to have the feelings fucked out of me by The Contractor, he didn’t. He just spanked me for hours until his hand got tired…I don’t think he gives a damn about what I want in this case 😉

Side note, I woke up about 20 minutes ago feeling sick as a dog. As much as I’d like to stay in bed with a warm body, I need to go home. This is the worst time for me to get sick.

I lied…

You know what? Fuck it I’m not taking a break.

But I will be posting infrequently until I can get moved into my new place…which means new adventures.

Also redid my OKC profile and I’ll tell you…a suggestive picture and indicators of my sexual behaviors have had my push notifications going off all afternoon…let’s see what kind of trouble I can get myself into 😉

So stay tuned…until then I’ll post when I remember any good, juicy experiences 🙂


“Countess Dickula”

A few halloweens ago (not when I fucked a ninja, the year before) I was a party drinking way too much when I decided to proposition the brother of my BFF…

He was game but the only room available was the bathroom…so naturally we headed straight there. That Halloween I was a vampire and had those stick on fangs and I don’t remember what he was dressed as…it was red and furry…so maybe Elmo? It doesn’t matter..

Anyways, he sat down on the toilet (clothed) and unzipped his onesie to pull his dick out…before he’d let me do anything he slapped me around with his dick for a bit…not exactly my fav but whatever…I just wanted him to let me wrap my lips around him.

It was your standard blow job, nothing special…he gave me what I wanted and came in my mouth…I remember his jizz tasted he specially salty, like a salt lick…I need the sodium anyways probably…

So we clean up and walk out of the bathroom and the second we rejoin the party he screams, “I JUST GOT A BLOW JOB FROM DICKULA!”

And that’s how for almost a year my friends decided to nick name me countess dickula.


The Contractor


The Contractor sent me flowers today…he sent me my favorite flowers. Which makes me feel two things: appreciation and guilt.

Appreciation because I mentioned that black calla lilies were my favorite in passing…it wasn’t even a full conversation..just the sentence “those roses are pretty but I think black calla lilies are better”…and they are expensive and rare.

And guilt because I think he thinks Saturday night was more than what it was….I’m not looking for a relationship (with him at least)….and the flowers make me think he does. I really just needed the release of emotions…plus, in that experience I realized a lot of hidden feelings I have for Texas…that don’t involve me continuing anything with The Contractor.

Should be a more than awkward meeting with him and my bosses tomorrow…

The hockey player

Texas was out watching hockey with his friends today and that reminded me of the time I dated a hockey player when I was younger….he was a friend of the family I always had a crush on growing up. He ended up playing on a WHL team and on the ice was an aggressive powerhouse of a right wing. Watching him move over the ice gracefully only to collide with the other players with the force of a freight train was amazing to me. Granted, he had a lot of aggression that landed him in the penalty box most of the time but it was still hot.

After a while we started dating and I became that obnoxious girlfriend in the stands. But it was because I knew depending on how the game went, I’d get a good rough fucking afterwards. I needed them to win…my vagina depended on it.

There was one particular night that they won and I was waiting for him to come out so we could go grab dinner and go home so I could score (wink, wink). He called me and told me to come into the locker room because he had something to show me. When I got in there everyone was gone except for him and he was sitting on a bench. He said he always wanted to fuck in the locker room. He was a big dude naturally. 6’5, 250lbs and looked menacing as hell in normal clothes…his pads doubled his build. His cock matched his body. Average length but thick like a summer sausage. I was addicted to his dick.

The fantasy of fucking him in the locker room had passed through my mind before but I never thought to act on it. So I walked over to him and asked him why he wanted to do it tonight and he told me it was because he didn’t have enough on the ice. He unzipped my pants and slid his hand around to my backside and started massaging my ass roughly. Grabbing it and holding on like it was going to run away. I told him we could get caught (which turned me on) and that he should just wait until we got home. He slid a finger into my cunt and pulled me closer so he was kissing my pubic bone….god damn it felt so good. It was sensual and exciting and just enough to make me orgasm after a few minutes. I sat on his lap while he started to finger my ass slowly. One finger then two. At that point I hadn’t really toyed around with anal so the feeling was interesting. But all I could focus on was his cock, hard under the weight of me. He had gym sweats on and I could feel him reacting to me grinding my hips on him and biting his neck.

He told me to get up and bend over the bench so he could fuck me. He started slowly, teasing my pussy by running it back and forth over my lips. He’d stick the tip in then take it out. It felt like torture for me. All I wanted was to be fucked and used. When he finally decided to enter me he did it slowly and meticulously. I couldn’t figure out why he was taking his time when usually he fucked me with reckless abandon.

When I pleaded for him to fuck me like usual he pulled out all together and told me to take of my shirt and lay down on my back on the bench. He sucked and bit my nipples until they felt like they were going to bleed. He reached his hand down over my vagina and gave it a smack. I’d never had that happen to me before so it shocked me and the second I yelped his hand flew to my mouth to muffle my screams. He continued to slap my cunt until he moved his hand to my throat and closed around it.

He positioned himself straddling me and the bench and pulled my body to his until I could feel his dick against my pussy again. I tried desperately to grab it and make him enter me but he wanted to do that on his own and to this day in glad he did. When he thrust into me he was still holding onto my throat and slammed into me hard like he did to the guys on the ice. He just kept ramming me, grabbing at my tits and slapping them as they moved in motion to his stroke. He ran his fingernails over my breasts and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I screamed, SCREAMED his name and was grasping for anything I could hold onto.

After I finally came down off that orgasm he pulled out to titty fuck me. He fucked them just as hard as he did my pussy. He was amused by giving me pearl necklaces and this was no exception. He always giggled as he was titty fucking me. On his upstroke I sucked and licked the tip of him until he held my head down so he could give me my coveted necklace…

We only ever fucked in the locker room once because we stopped seeing each other shortly after that. Then I found out he got arrested for murder a few years later..I think I dodged a bullet with that one.

If the boats rockin’ don’t come knockin’

There are two things I’m superb at. Ruining romantic advances and corrupting the innocent men who approach me with them.

The Captain was one of those sweet, innocent dudes who just wanted to find Mrs. Right…and I’m not her…for him at least. The Captain is a well rounded man…he’s easy on the eyes, tall, lean and tan. Early 30’s, well educated, military reservist and rich.

Rich enough to own a 50ft yacht (that he lives on) a beautiful truck and some fancy ass motorcycle that he keeps in town along with his boat part time while also paying to moor it about 30 miles NE of me (where he keeps his truck).

In addition to this he’s just a genuinely sweet guy. Good natured and apparently a hopeless romantic…according to him his ex wife cheated on him because, “he’s too nice”…go figure.

So long story short, I end up at The Captains yacht and it is fucking gorgeous. It was like being in a hotel suite on water. Everything was dark wood and black. He offers me some scotch (neat) and I have to say, it wasn’t that bad…at least after the third one. By then I was feeling like “either fuck me or I’m calling a cab.” But he’s just being sweet. Making sure I was comfortable. Making sure I had enough to drink. Making sure I wasn’t getting sea sick…it was cute, but I’d had enough. I just came out and asked if we were gonna hookup or not. And he was shocked. Speechless. And stuttering.

He finally got out a meek, “yeah I’d like to but only if you want to.” And in that moment something came over me. I don’t know if it was the scotch, the wine from earlier or the floating hotel room I was in but I became this really aggressive person….I told him everything I wanted him to do. “Strip, turn around, put your hands on your hips, go get in bed and lay on your back.” I’m glad I took the time to appreciate his body…you could probably cut a diamond on the edges of his muscles.

When I got in bed with him I made him put his hands behind his head and told him touching was off limits and that the only way he could cum was if it was in my mouth or on my tits. When I said that he looked like a kid in a fucking candy store…so stupid and giddy.

I had to really take my time on him. For such a small body frame his dick was pretty big. Big enough that I had to stop about 15 minutes in and give my jaw a break…in that time I told him to stroke himself, but he wasn’t allowed to cum. Watching him watch me as he jerked himself off was a huge turn on. He had this intense look on his face and he refused to break my glance. When I finally felt comfortable enough to put him in my mouth again I took him all in. Down to the bone…I don’t think he’s ever been deep throated because he went nuts. He wrapped his legs around my lower back and squeezed. He didn’t say stop so I milked him with the back of my throat and that sent him over the edge. Next thing I know he’s grunting and thrusting into my mouth as his cum is sliding down my throat. That stupid giddy look returned when he opened his eyes and looked down the bed at me. It’s still sweet but kind of weird.

After he caught his breath, he said he felt bad that I didn’t cum but that it was exciting being with such a domineering woman. He told me he’s only ever gotten head a few times in his life because he always thought it was disrespectful to women. Also that he’s never hooked up without dating a woman for a few weeks…He said it felt strange just using me for my mouth.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him 99% of the time I’m usually the one being told what to do and swallowing enough cum to go swimming in….

I told him to make it up to me. To envision his ex wife and to hate-fuck me. He couldn’t do it and it’s probably a good thing too. With a cock like his he could have broke something. The sex was average, my blowjob was better. I’ll give him props for calling me a “dirty fucking cunt” over and over.

…That was a nice touch.