Goodbye!

This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

Mr. Safety

Since the snow forced us to cancel our date tonight, I’ll tell you about one of the guys I’m dating…

You ever meet someone and they’re just….safe? Right after I officially ended things with Texas, this guy hits me up and we start talking. It was that all day, all night conversation that just flowed so freely and easily. We went on our first date and there was no sex – I really like him and didn’t want to be a rebound.

Our conversation didn’t even hit a sexual nature until about a week after our first date and I was horny. So I sent him this picture

And from there everything sped up. The first time I went to his house, we talked for hours. And then hooked up for hours. What I had intended to be a couple hours turned into an overnight stay late into the next day.

He’s a big dude. 6’4, 300lbs. He’s the kind of guy a girl like me can climb. And I do. He’s big into foreplay. Which after not getting any with Texas, is so refreshing. Mr. Safe pays attention to how my body responds and gives me more when I want it and recalibrates his approach when I don’t respond the way he wants.

The actual sex with him is…okay.

I’ve actually had more fun sitting on his face and playing with 69-style with him than I’ve had actually having sex. I like standing over him and forcing him to taste me. I like making him clean himself off my tits after he’s cum on them.

So he’s safe. He’s someone I can explore things with and enjoy myself with. It’s not my favorite. But it’s safe.

Back on the saddle

One of the things I’ve been exploring since leaving Texas is the power of my body and sexuality. Exploring how I use my body to please both myself and my partner.

Admittedly while with Texas, I had a lot of hangups while having sex with him. Which meant I was never on top.

But I threw caution to the wind and said “fuck it.” Obviously the guys that want to fuck me, like what they see…so I’ll take advantage of that.

Enter “Taco”…he’s called Taco in my book because he fucked me after feeding me tacos once. And that was pretty fucking awesome.

I met Taco on OKC, and it was really one of those conversations that started with me saying, “so how’s a lady supposed to get in your pants?” And after like 4 more texts I found myself at his house at 3am. Taco was the first cock I’d had in me since Texas and because of that I made it clear that when I got over there the first night it wasn’t to get to know each other.

And we didn’t. I got to his place, knocked on the door, and he answered the door naked with a huge, hard cock. We made it to his couch. I didn’t even realize he actually had a bed until like the 3rd time I was with him.

He tried to fuck me bent over the back of the couch but the angles were 100% wrong (thanks Ikea), we didn’t hit our stride until I got him on the couch and straddled him. There was something so liberating about watching him enjoy me riding him. And something even more enjoyable seeing his face smothered in between my tits.

Sadly, I wasn’t able to cum from being on top, as much as I enjoyed being in complete control of us. So I told him, before he could cut he needed to get me off first, because I’m a fuckin lady, right?

He bent my ass like it was a pretzel and hit the exact spot I needed hit…over and over again. He took a position I was used to with Texas, and took it to an EXTREME. I came so hard on my final orgasm I accidentally slapped him. Oops.

And then I left and was home by 4:30am.

Interesting note about Taco: he could be twins with one of Texas’ best friends.

So about this weekend part 1

My goal was to get as much cum as I could, and I succeeded in that.

Friday night started off with me hooking up with a friend from high school. I’ve always wanted to find out what he was working with, so when he called me and told me he wanted a crack at my pussy I couldn’t say no. Spur of the moment I went over to his place (his moms house…still the same as when we were in high school). We had a beer and he was stalling for a bit until he came out of the bathroom. He say down and we started to kiss. My ultimate goal was get the cum and get out of dodge, but he wanted to make it complicated. We’re sitting on this couch and I’m on my knees in front of him sucking his cock like a good little cum slut, then he tells me he wants me on top to 69…which is literally my least favorite position. So I gave him a good solid minute before I flipped around and sat on his dick.

Now, the rumor in high school was that he had a massive cock. Thats true. A solid 8.5 inches long and 6 or 7 in girth. Enough that when I was on top of him I was able to bounce like I was on a pogo stick. I told him I wanted him to “use me as a cum rag” so I got on my stomach and let him play with me from that angle for a minute. He explored my ass while he was fucking me but he came before he could put anything in it.

The most surprising thing was that immediately he was like, “I’m not done, I need to cum again.”

Well I had somewhere to be so I asked him how quick he could be and what would be the quickest way to get him off…I really had to go.

He jerked himself off and came on my breasts. I kind of smeared it around since he was a light cummer and basically went on my way home with his cum dripping out of me to start the next part of my night.

My experience with him was a one time thing…since I’m friends with his baby mama.

Let’s call him Ryan.

That’s not his name but I couldn’t remember is real name for the life of me.

Last night was my Hetero life mates birthday so we went out for drinks and karaoke at this dive in the city. She told me in the days leading up about her friend “Ryan” who had seen pictures of me on Facebook and wanted to get to know me…well being that she knows me she told him I wouldn’t get to know him and would just fuck him. (She and I are like one in the same)…

So we’re out drinking and he and I start chatting, the conversation goes like this:

Me: I want to get “cumslut” tattooed on the inside of my bottom lip
Him: that’s cute, I’m sure you’re not though.
Me: the one thing I want before the end of the year is a bukkake with like, 10 dudes.
Him: so you wanna go back to my place?

At first I was like fuck yeah, but then realized he lived an hour fucking away from where my car was, and I’ve got things to do in the morning…so no.

But my HLM then says use my place! You can use my bed! (Did I mention how much I love her??)

By closing time Ryan and I are making out like teenagers in the back of a lyft with 2 other people (a friend who used to work for me and his HLM)… We were THOSE people. My hand was down his pants, he had my tits out and was basically tongue fucking my mouth (we were beyond kissing at this point.)

So we get back to my HLM’s house go upstairs and get down to business…and to give you a time frame, this was at about 2am…I know that because I called Texas to see if he could give is a ride at 1:30.

Anyways, this whole night he’s been talking about how he can’t wait to get in my pussy, and how he wants me to cum all over his face as I’m sucking him off…turn on right?

No. I must have drank way too much because my pussy was more dry than the African savannah. It was a desert down there and I’m not a fool, spit wasn’t going to be enough. So I roll him on his back and take him in my mouth…admittedly, even at half mast with whisky dick, he still had a big dick. Like…big enough that today my jaw hurts.

And I’m not saying I’m a pro or anything at giving head, but I can usually get a guy to cum within 5 minutes. Not this dude…oh no. I had his dick in my mouth for 3 hours. 3. And we tried everything to get him off…69, rimming, throatfucking, etc…and nothing. Then he tells me he’s never gotten off from receiving. (Asshole…should have told me that before I blew my jaw out.)

What he lacked in the ability to cum he more than made up for with the ability to eat pussy. I used to hate it when guys would go down on me…it takes forever and I’m convinced I killed the nerves in my clit. But shit. My god. I’ve never wanted to strap myself onto a mans face like that before. I may or may not have woken up in the middle of the night and sat on his face…maybe 😉 – sidenote, still couldn’t cum from that. I was fighting a losing battle.

So meanwhile, after a pee break I get back in bed and he’s trying so hard to stay hard but the whisky was too much. And I have to say, men if you’re going to fingerbang a woman, trim your nails and know which hole you’re in. At one point, he was in my asshole and said to “god your pussy is tight.” Yeah…because that’s my shit pipe. Sorry to break it to you.

He didn’t actually cum until this morning. When he woke me up by fucking me and sucking on my tits…and when he’s fully hard it’s really fucking good. For a skinny metal head who looks like Brian “Head” Welch from Korn, his dick was huge…definitely not proportionate to his skinny body frame.

And let me say 2 things before I end this:

1) my ability to blow dudes and text at the same time is scary good.

2) you know you’ve got a great group of friends when two of them (females) walk into the bedroom watch you deep throat a dude that one of them has fucked then go get in the shower together. Followed by a third friend who does the same before getting in the shower with them. Then followed by a random dude who came to see where they went, watched you semi-puke on a dudes dick then gets in the shower with the three girls. And the next morning when you tell your HLM you owe her a bottle of lube, they all turn over in the air mattress they slept on, laugh at you and then high-five you.

I have awesome friends.

Mystery Man

So long story short I threw my back out Friday and have been in constant pain (bad pain) since then.  It all accumulated today when I had to fucking roll and slide out of my bed (a three foot drop to the ground), army crawl to the stairs, slide down those, and army crawl into my kitchen to find food because I’d been awake for 8 hours and needed to stuff my face.  In between the pain meds, muscle relaxers and down time I’ve spent a lot of time thinking….which is incredibly dangerous for me.  My mind is my greatest weapon when it comes to me being my own worst enemy.

For some reason I keep thinking about this dream over and over in my head that I had last night…

I’m cooking dinner when a man shows up at my door…I don’t know who he is.  Not literally (because according to him we know each other)  but in my mind I can’t make out his features…all I know is he smells like Arber cologne from The Body Shop (the number 1 scent on a man that instantly turns me on).  I greet him with a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug and invite him in.  He’s familiar.  His presence is safe and comforting.

He’s dressed in nice jeans and a dark blue button down shirt and I’m in this drop front black dress and 6inch, red, patent leather wedges.  I tower over him but it doesn’t bother me.

I’m cooking flank steak, Spanish rice and have fresh tortillas warming in the oven.  He picks up a knife and starts helping me dice onions and peppers.  When dinner is ready we sit in front of my window overlooking the bay.  Its a clear night right around dusk and the sunset is creating the warm orange/pinkish glow that accents the lights on the port and city beautifully.  We enjoy our meal and talk about politics, social issues and aliens (don’t ask).

We move over to my couch to continue the conversation, and the topics shift from personal views and opinions to talking about sexual histories.  We spend hours probing each others minds about various fetishes, fantasies and desires over a bottles of wine when I decide to kick things up a notch.  I straddle him as he tries to tell me about the time in college that he had a threesome.  I’m kissing him everywhere…his lips to his ears, down his neck, around his collar bone and back up to his lips as he slides his hand up my thigh and under my dress.  I’m not wearing any panties and he takes advantage of that; running his fingers in between my cheeks and gently grazing my backside.  In my dream I’m anticipating him exploring more and my heart starts to race with excitement. I want nothing more than for him to discover my body.  To find out how to touch me and where to touch me to elicit the responses he wants.

I can feel him hardening under me with every movement of my hips grinding into him.  I start to unbutton his shirt and run my hands over his chest and through his dark brown hair…I love a man with chest hair.  Jesus-fucking-Christ do I love a man with thick chest hair.

He tells me he’s missed the feel of my skin in his hands, that he missed the way I sucked on his ear…the way I moaned when he used to bite my bottom lip and the he way I move my body when he runs his hands over my lower back and ass.  All I can think about is how familiar this is.  How much I’ve wanted this from him…and even though I’m inches away from his face I can’t tell who he is.  The lights are down in my apartment and the only illumination is coming from the lights of the city. 

I work my way down his body as I’m unbuttoning the rest of his shirt until I get to the waist band of his pants.  I look up at him and smile. I want what’s under his pants.  I want to worship his cock and show him how much I love it.  He puts his hands in my hair and tells me, “do what you want baby”.  I take my time unwrapping him.  I’m excited and want to savor every moment and I can’t take my eyes off him.  He’s studying me, watching my hands and my face….I secretly hope he can’t tell how much I want him.  I hope he can’t see the anticipation in my eyes. 

I pull his pants and boxers off and he’s rock solid in all of his glory and I can’t help but smile as I take him in my mouth and swirl my tongue around his head.  I love the sigh he gives me as I make my way down his shaft, working my hands in a circular motion around his base as my head bobs up and down on him.  When he grabs my head he doesn’t force me down on him, he doesn’t try to control me, he just holds onto me like I’m whats keeping him connected to this world.  The longer I have him in my mouth the less I want to stop myself.  I stop to tell him how much I love his cock and how perfect it is and he just smiles at me and tells me to “come here.”  I don’t want to stop but he gives me a little yank on my hair. 

As I stand up he grabs my hips and lowers me onto him, slowly until he’s fully inside of me.  I start rocking back and forth with guidance from his hands on my hips and I can already start to feel the ecstasy building inside of me. He’s controlling the pace and keeping things slow, but his grasp on my body is getting tighter.  He moves his hands up my back and pulls me into him so my breasts smother his face.  He takes my nipple in his mouth and bites down gently, enough to send a shiver up my spine adding to the pleasure I’m already experiencing.

He starts to increase the pace I’m riding him at and I can’t control myself anymore. I’m right there on that edge, teetering back and forth as I’m riding him…everything is being stimulated and he grabs my face and kisses me.  He can tell I’m going to cum soon and tells me to wait for him because he’s close too.  He wants to look me in my eyes as he pushes me over the edge. My body explodes and shakes uncontrollably as he drags my hips across his lap in short, disjointed strokes.  I’m hot and sweaty and collapsed in a heap on him…

We sit there for a while, in silence…blissful silence.  He strokes up and down my back with his hands as I kiss his shoulders and its just perfect and comforting.

 

Then my horny ass woke up in pain and it was over.  Just like that.  Stupid fucking subconscious.

Who was that guy in my dream?  Why was the sex so incredible? It was so gentle but that orgasm was fucking fantastic…Why was I cooking Mexican food instead of something that’s more my style?  Why wasn’t I able to make out his face?  Why did he feel so safe and comfortable?  Why didn’t we get in bed?

So many questions and ZERO answers god dammit.

Ugh.

 

OKC, Sir…

One thing I enjoy about being on OKCupid is the propensity for men to act out their fantasies….most men think they’re this real life Christian Grey, when in reality all they want is to talk the talk…

One guy messaged me from Vancouver, CA and we went from talking about Daniel Day Lewis to him jumping straight into “owning” me…..Now, because this is the internet I happily obliged him…

Truth be told I miss being owned and sometimes I struggle with the want going back to that and having a “normal” (whatever the hell that means) relationship with men.

But it was fun while it lasted with him….

The hockey player

Texas was out watching hockey with his friends today and that reminded me of the time I dated a hockey player when I was younger….he was a friend of the family I always had a crush on growing up. He ended up playing on a WHL team and on the ice was an aggressive powerhouse of a right wing. Watching him move over the ice gracefully only to collide with the other players with the force of a freight train was amazing to me. Granted, he had a lot of aggression that landed him in the penalty box most of the time but it was still hot.

After a while we started dating and I became that obnoxious girlfriend in the stands. But it was because I knew depending on how the game went, I’d get a good rough fucking afterwards. I needed them to win…my vagina depended on it.

There was one particular night that they won and I was waiting for him to come out so we could go grab dinner and go home so I could score (wink, wink). He called me and told me to come into the locker room because he had something to show me. When I got in there everyone was gone except for him and he was sitting on a bench. He said he always wanted to fuck in the locker room. He was a big dude naturally. 6’5, 250lbs and looked menacing as hell in normal clothes…his pads doubled his build. His cock matched his body. Average length but thick like a summer sausage. I was addicted to his dick.

The fantasy of fucking him in the locker room had passed through my mind before but I never thought to act on it. So I walked over to him and asked him why he wanted to do it tonight and he told me it was because he didn’t have enough on the ice. He unzipped my pants and slid his hand around to my backside and started massaging my ass roughly. Grabbing it and holding on like it was going to run away. I told him we could get caught (which turned me on) and that he should just wait until we got home. He slid a finger into my cunt and pulled me closer so he was kissing my pubic bone….god damn it felt so good. It was sensual and exciting and just enough to make me orgasm after a few minutes. I sat on his lap while he started to finger my ass slowly. One finger then two. At that point I hadn’t really toyed around with anal so the feeling was interesting. But all I could focus on was his cock, hard under the weight of me. He had gym sweats on and I could feel him reacting to me grinding my hips on him and biting his neck.

He told me to get up and bend over the bench so he could fuck me. He started slowly, teasing my pussy by running it back and forth over my lips. He’d stick the tip in then take it out. It felt like torture for me. All I wanted was to be fucked and used. When he finally decided to enter me he did it slowly and meticulously. I couldn’t figure out why he was taking his time when usually he fucked me with reckless abandon.

When I pleaded for him to fuck me like usual he pulled out all together and told me to take of my shirt and lay down on my back on the bench. He sucked and bit my nipples until they felt like they were going to bleed. He reached his hand down over my vagina and gave it a smack. I’d never had that happen to me before so it shocked me and the second I yelped his hand flew to my mouth to muffle my screams. He continued to slap my cunt until he moved his hand to my throat and closed around it.

He positioned himself straddling me and the bench and pulled my body to his until I could feel his dick against my pussy again. I tried desperately to grab it and make him enter me but he wanted to do that on his own and to this day in glad he did. When he thrust into me he was still holding onto my throat and slammed into me hard like he did to the guys on the ice. He just kept ramming me, grabbing at my tits and slapping them as they moved in motion to his stroke. He ran his fingernails over my breasts and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I screamed, SCREAMED his name and was grasping for anything I could hold onto.

After I finally came down off that orgasm he pulled out to titty fuck me. He fucked them just as hard as he did my pussy. He was amused by giving me pearl necklaces and this was no exception. He always giggled as he was titty fucking me. On his upstroke I sucked and licked the tip of him until he held my head down so he could give me my coveted necklace…

We only ever fucked in the locker room once because we stopped seeing each other shortly after that. Then I found out he got arrested for murder a few years later..I think I dodged a bullet with that one.

The back of a diner parking lot

I met this guy at a rock show one night, and in my tipsy state he could have been in one of the bands playing. I was coming off a breakup and just wanted to be kind of slutty.

So this guy and I start chatting in the beer garden and he asks me to go back to his place after the show. I couldn’t because I had to work the next day, so I opted to offer him a meal at a certain chain diner down the road. The concert ends, and we both head over there in our separate cars. We park in the back of the lot and somehow didn’t even make it into the building. We stood there talking for a bit about his car and I realized that eating food was the last thing on my mind. I kissed him. Ferociously. We made out like teenagers for a bit when he suggested hopping into his car.

Thank god it was a sedan. We got into the backseat and he started to take off my clothes. He really wasted no time getting my shirt fully off before he pulled my breasts out of my bra and started to suck on them. Good god he was good at that…he really knew how to alternate between sucking, licking and biting. Mmm. Yes please.

When he took his pants off I swear he had the biggest dick I’d seem to date. Easily 7 inches and almost as thick as a soda can. I was intimidated and excited at the same time. I couldn’t wait to have him inside of me.

I never realized how many positions you could do in the back of a car…we went from doggy style, to me on top, to missionary to this weird position with me on top with my legs propped up and spread wide along the top of the back seat leaning back with my head on the center console.

I love the feeling of a man just abusing my pussy. Just fucking me like I’m there for him to get off and that’s it. I love it when a man gives no fucks about me getting mine…it actually turns me on incredibly. And that’s all he used me for. I didn’t cum, but it didn’t matter. He just wanted to get his dick wet and cum on my tits.

After we finished, I put my shirt on and went in and had a moons over my hammy with my cum covered tits and left.

For some reason my girlfriends won’t let me live this down…