This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

OKC, Sir…

One thing I enjoy about being on OKCupid is the propensity for men to act out their fantasies….most men think they’re this real life Christian Grey, when in reality all they want is to talk the talk…

One guy messaged me from Vancouver, CA and we went from talking about Daniel Day Lewis to him jumping straight into “owning” me…..Now, because this is the internet I happily obliged him…

Truth be told I miss being owned and sometimes I struggle with the want going back to that and having a “normal” (whatever the hell that means) relationship with men.

But it was fun while it lasted with him….

Dick Pics

I’m not shy with my body.  God has blessed me with some huge assets and I love showing them off to men I’m attracted to.  He was no exception.  And usually when I send a particularly sexy titty pic, I get a nice dick pic in return…


not from him though.  He said he’s never done that and never will.  I figured thats fine – none for you from me then!…that lasted about 2 days.  Here’s a tip:  Don’t drink a bottle of wine by yourself while texting a man you’re attracted to.  It only ends in titty pics and disappointment.

But one day, one glorious, god blessed day I woke up from a late night of texting him about nothing even remotely sexual to the holy grail of dick pics.  Yes, the man who has never sent one and claimed to never send one in the future sent lowly ole me a pic of his wonderful man-stick.  And let me tell you, of all the dicks I’ve had and seen, this man’s is the definition of perfect.  If you ask him he’ll either tell you its too small or “perfectly average” as he described it to me.

On the real, size-wise, it perfect. Its above average in length and and width, but not so much that it hurts.  Just enough so that you feel comfortably full.  He’s perfectly circumcised, which as a woman who has always preferred an uncut man, is nice.  I’m more of a giver and love to really play with a man’s hood when he’s in my mouth….so being with men who were circumcised was always kind of a let down…I don’t know why….but his perfectly shaped and circumcised dick all I could think about was getting my lips on him…

So I tell him, “holy shit I’m staying in bed all day and masturbating to this…what gives?”

He tells me he doesn’t know but since I’ve asked in the past he wanted to oblige me…My mama taught me not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I did exactly what I told him I was going to do….then went on a mission to find a toy that looked as close to his as I could find…I couldn’t…that’s how perfect it is.