So long story short I threw my back out Friday and have been in constant pain (bad pain) since then. It all accumulated today when I had to fucking roll and slide out of my bed (a three foot drop to the ground), army crawl to the stairs, slide down those, and army crawl into my kitchen to find food because I’d been awake for 8 hours and needed to stuff my face. In between the pain meds, muscle relaxers and down time I’ve spent a lot of time thinking….which is incredibly dangerous for me. My mind is my greatest weapon when it comes to me being my own worst enemy.
For some reason I keep thinking about this dream over and over in my head that I had last night…
I’m cooking dinner when a man shows up at my door…I don’t know who he is. Not literally (because according to him we know each other) but in my mind I can’t make out his features…all I know is he smells like Arber cologne from The Body Shop (the number 1 scent on a man that instantly turns me on). I greet him with a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug and invite him in. He’s familiar. His presence is safe and comforting.
He’s dressed in nice jeans and a dark blue button down shirt and I’m in this drop front black dress and 6inch, red, patent leather wedges. I tower over him but it doesn’t bother me.
I’m cooking flank steak, Spanish rice and have fresh tortillas warming in the oven. He picks up a knife and starts helping me dice onions and peppers. When dinner is ready we sit in front of my window overlooking the bay. Its a clear night right around dusk and the sunset is creating the warm orange/pinkish glow that accents the lights on the port and city beautifully. We enjoy our meal and talk about politics, social issues and aliens (don’t ask).
We move over to my couch to continue the conversation, and the topics shift from personal views and opinions to talking about sexual histories. We spend hours probing each others minds about various fetishes, fantasies and desires over a bottles of wine when I decide to kick things up a notch. I straddle him as he tries to tell me about the time in college that he had a threesome. I’m kissing him everywhere…his lips to his ears, down his neck, around his collar bone and back up to his lips as he slides his hand up my thigh and under my dress. I’m not wearing any panties and he takes advantage of that; running his fingers in between my cheeks and gently grazing my backside. In my dream I’m anticipating him exploring more and my heart starts to race with excitement. I want nothing more than for him to discover my body. To find out how to touch me and where to touch me to elicit the responses he wants.
I can feel him hardening under me with every movement of my hips grinding into him. I start to unbutton his shirt and run my hands over his chest and through his dark brown hair…I love a man with chest hair. Jesus-fucking-Christ do I love a man with thick chest hair.
He tells me he’s missed the feel of my skin in his hands, that he missed the way I sucked on his ear…the way I moaned when he used to bite my bottom lip and the he way I move my body when he runs his hands over my lower back and ass. All I can think about is how familiar this is. How much I’ve wanted this from him…and even though I’m inches away from his face I can’t tell who he is. The lights are down in my apartment and the only illumination is coming from the lights of the city.
I work my way down his body as I’m unbuttoning the rest of his shirt until I get to the waist band of his pants. I look up at him and smile. I want what’s under his pants. I want to worship his cock and show him how much I love it. He puts his hands in my hair and tells me, “do what you want baby”. I take my time unwrapping him. I’m excited and want to savor every moment and I can’t take my eyes off him. He’s studying me, watching my hands and my face….I secretly hope he can’t tell how much I want him. I hope he can’t see the anticipation in my eyes.
I pull his pants and boxers off and he’s rock solid in all of his glory and I can’t help but smile as I take him in my mouth and swirl my tongue around his head. I love the sigh he gives me as I make my way down his shaft, working my hands in a circular motion around his base as my head bobs up and down on him. When he grabs my head he doesn’t force me down on him, he doesn’t try to control me, he just holds onto me like I’m whats keeping him connected to this world. The longer I have him in my mouth the less I want to stop myself. I stop to tell him how much I love his cock and how perfect it is and he just smiles at me and tells me to “come here.” I don’t want to stop but he gives me a little yank on my hair.
As I stand up he grabs my hips and lowers me onto him, slowly until he’s fully inside of me. I start rocking back and forth with guidance from his hands on my hips and I can already start to feel the ecstasy building inside of me. He’s controlling the pace and keeping things slow, but his grasp on my body is getting tighter. He moves his hands up my back and pulls me into him so my breasts smother his face. He takes my nipple in his mouth and bites down gently, enough to send a shiver up my spine adding to the pleasure I’m already experiencing.
He starts to increase the pace I’m riding him at and I can’t control myself anymore. I’m right there on that edge, teetering back and forth as I’m riding him…everything is being stimulated and he grabs my face and kisses me. He can tell I’m going to cum soon and tells me to wait for him because he’s close too. He wants to look me in my eyes as he pushes me over the edge. My body explodes and shakes uncontrollably as he drags my hips across his lap in short, disjointed strokes. I’m hot and sweaty and collapsed in a heap on him…
We sit there for a while, in silence…blissful silence. He strokes up and down my back with his hands as I kiss his shoulders and its just perfect and comforting.
Then my horny ass woke up in pain and it was over. Just like that. Stupid fucking subconscious.
Who was that guy in my dream? Why was the sex so incredible? It was so gentle but that orgasm was fucking fantastic…Why was I cooking Mexican food instead of something that’s more my style? Why wasn’t I able to make out his face? Why did he feel so safe and comfortable? Why didn’t we get in bed?
So many questions and ZERO answers god dammit.