This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

Fucking Music, man

You know how you hear some songs and they’re just so inherently sexy that you can’t help but imagine what sex would be like to them?  Some of them are slower more sensual songs, and some of them are straight-up, no frills, hard fucking songs?  Because music is a big part of my life, I can usually tell if its a good fucking song, and whether I want to fuck to it…after all, music sets the mood most of the time right?

This is a list of a few of my favorite songs to fuck to (and maybe a few quick stories!) and a few songs I need to be fucked to.

Lenny Kravitz – Dancin Til Dawn
This song will always remind me of the time I spent the night in a desert, crammed into an RV with some random stranger who let me pick the music. I gave him a tiny bit of a strip tease and we fucked until we passed out (thanks alcohol!).  Woke up the next morning sweating, covered in dirt from the day before, with cum in my hair and had to trek back to my campsite…wouldn’t trade it for the world.  He was one of those full body strokers who put his back into it.  Also, ladies this has a really good beat to grind to.

Bill Withers – Who Is He (and what is he to you?)
Who knew a song about a cheating girlfriend could be something two people could have sex to?  I do apparently.  The same man who told me this song was about me, stuck his dick in me repeatedly to this song.  I didn’t realize what turned him on about this song (or the thought of me cheating for that matter) but I get it now.  When Bill Withers says, “you’re too much for one man, but not enough for two” he’d always stroke my face.  ALWAYS.

Nine Inch Nails – Closer
“I wanna fuck you like an animal”…I can’t tell you how many men sing that line during sex, who DON’T fuck me like an animal.  Still a good, sexy song to put you in the mood though.

Ginuwine – Pony
The first time I ever homewrecked was because of this song.  Way back when I was a Freshmen in high school.  Kayla threw a huge party at her parents house and I ended up on her parents bed with her boyfriend. Sex wasn’t anything to write home about, but the act of fucking a “taken” guy turned me on like crazy back then. I had no conscience back then.  But I blame this song for taking me down that road.  I jumped on his saddle alright 😉

Deftones – Bored
I used to fuck a dude who was OBSESSED with this song after I had him listen to it…like everytime we had sex he’d play it on repeat.  I love Chino and spent most of my early sexual career fantasizing about fucking him whenever I had a lousy lay..and this dude was no exception…at least I had good music to listen to until he was done!

 Beyonce – Drunk in Love (ft. Jay-Z)
This song will always remind me of Texas.  Mainly because I asked him to put it on the youtubes one night and we ended up fucking for forever (yum) but for some reason, youtube kept playing it over, and over, and over, and over again…it got comical at one point.  But that was one of the first nights I lost count of my orgasms with him. I definitely wanted to drink his watermelon that night. 😉

 In This Moment – Blood
So Maria Brink is literally my definition of a beautiful woman.  She’s physically gorgeous, sexy as hell and confident as all get out. The song is about a break up and this extreme emotional pain she went through…which is probably why this song makes me want to dominate the shit out of a man.  Put him on all fours in a collar, walk him around and make him lick my boots.  Coincidentally, there was a dominatrix at the show I saw them at last week who actually had someone do that in the women’s bathroom.  It was hot.

In This Moment – Sex Metal Barbie
In This Moment gets two in a row…because this is a new song from them and I spent some quality time with my Rabbit and this song before sitting down to type this list out. They literally just released it like, yesterday.  But when I heard it in concert the other night, my girlfriend and I both agreed that it needed to be on our Fucking Playlists. Because Maria Brink. And to be honest when I heard it all I could envision is Texas watching me get my ass rammed and filled by a stranger.

 Deftones – You’ve Seen the Butcher
I have a small fetish for men covered in fake blood.  Whenever I see that image my clit starts throbbing.  And Chino Moreno does the same thing for me.

Funny story about Chino:  When I worked in Radio, I was getting on the elevator and physically ran into as he got off the elevator.  If I wasn’t so starstruck and immediately horny, I probably would have gotten naked right there and humped his leg…but instead I squeaked out a “so sorry” and he just laughed it off and told me not to apologize.  Then asked me how to get in our office and I silently let him in.  That was my chance.  Should have taken it…too big of a pussy.

She Wants Revenge – Tear You Apart
This song came into my life by way of what I call my “Transition” boyfriend.  I was shifting away from hanging around with the gang bangers and drug dealers to people who were less likely to get me killed or thrown in jail.  He was very much your typical “goth” kid, but with the build of a line backer.  He was hot.  We bonded over our mutual dislike of Math and being stuck in detention together a few times in high school…we reconnected our first year in college – thanks Myspace.  While we never fucked to this song, its always turned me on.

Aaliyah – If Your Girl Only Knew
takes me back to high school…and homewrecking.  Still sexy though.

The aspiring star

While I’m sitting here at work bored to death I’ll tell you one of a few stories about how I got to be known as the welcome wagon at my old job…

So I believe I mentioned a while ago that I used to work in radio, and because of our format we had a ton of new artists coming through the door to impress us.

One particular day a cute little cowboy came strutting into our office with his wranglers, Stetson hat, and guitar on his shoulder. He was adorable and had dimples so deep you could swim in them and walked with a gait that screamed “I HAVE A BIG JUICY DICK!”

My bosses made the mistake of inviting me out to dinner with them, this guy and his rep. While the big wigs discussed airplay and the latest industry happenings he and I had a few strong drinks and nice conversation. At the end of the night he wanted to continue drinking so everyone left us and went home. We closed out this little dive (which has become my usual drunken late night go to with musicians) after I had my hands down his pants stroking him under the bar. I’ll never forget what he kept telling me:

“Damn girl, you’re wild. You like a little danger don’t cha? You’re the kind of girl who’s down to go anywhere.”

We got back to his room and fooled around a bit. He suckled my tits like he was a baby, which right now would have been fine because of how sensitive they’ve been lately, but back then I couldn’t feel a damn thing.

He kept telling me I could never tell because the image they’re going for is a single and sweet southern gentleman. Bahaha. When he took his dick out of his pants he hopped on top of me to alternate between titty and face fucking me. To his credit, those jeans didn’t tell a damn lie. My gag reflex isn’t super sensitive but he had me gagging with less than 3/4 of his dick in my mouth. He was mindful to pin my arms down with his knees, so he was in total control. He blew one load down the back of my throat, rolled off of me and told me to give him 10 minutes.

When he was in fighting condition again, he told me to flip over so he could ride me like a bucking bronco. He closed my legs, straddled me, spread my ass and rammed me in the prone position (my favorite) and I made some stupid comment about bucking like a bronco which I immediately regretted when he shoved two fingers into my ass…he definitely had me bucking at that point 😉

When he finished on my ass, he asked me to stay the night with him and being drunk and broke I really had no choice. I made it out before he woke up and the next few times we saw each other after that was completely casual, except when he’d sing this one song, he’d look directly in my eyes the whole time and do this little pseudo-air humping motion.