This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

“Countess Dickula”

A few halloweens ago (not when I fucked a ninja, the year before) I was a party drinking way too much when I decided to proposition the brother of my BFF…

He was game but the only room available was the bathroom…so naturally we headed straight there. That Halloween I was a vampire and had those stick on fangs and I don’t remember what he was dressed as…it was red and furry…so maybe Elmo? It doesn’t matter..

Anyways, he sat down on the toilet (clothed) and unzipped his onesie to pull his dick out…before he’d let me do anything he slapped me around with his dick for a bit…not exactly my fav but whatever…I just wanted him to let me wrap my lips around him.

It was your standard blow job, nothing special…he gave me what I wanted and came in my mouth…I remember his jizz tasted he specially salty, like a salt lick…I need the sodium anyways probably…

So we clean up and walk out of the bathroom and the second we rejoin the party he screams, “I JUST GOT A BLOW JOB FROM DICKULA!”

And that’s how for almost a year my friends decided to nick name me countess dickula.


I fucked a ninja once

Halloween a couple years ago I decided to go as Ke$ha…because whiskey. I’m at a house party and was on the prowl…again, I was fresh out of a relationship and wanted to get over that by getting under someone new.

I start chatting with a guy dressed as a ninja…all black, including an opaque black face mask. In my drunken state I had no idea who it was. So by the end of the night, people were leaving and it it was just the homeowners, myself, the ninja and my best guy friend left. I still had no clue who ninja really was because by the end of the night I finished my bottle of Jack and lost 3 consecutive rounds of beer pong.

The homeowners and my buddy go to bed in rooms leaving ninja and I alone in the living room. I don’t remember exactly how things happened, but I remember saying, “I’ll show you mine of you show me yours”…because I’m 12.

I remember thinking his dick was pretty. He was shaved and it just looked pretty…like a fresh dildo. I start to suck him off because I’m not a girl to waste a pretty dick and before long I’m bent over the side of a couch getting fucked by a ninja. He was rough too. Just fucking mean…really into calling me his dirty slut and telling me what a skank i was to fuck a guy I didn’t know and that I was just a cum dumpster for him. Fuck, that turns me on though. He grabbed a fistful if my hair (which was laden with booze, glitter, Semen (long story) and hair gel) and yanked my head back so hard he could’ve given me whiplash. He told me he was going to titty fuck me and cum on my face…YES.PLEASE!

It wasn’t until I was licking his cum off my fingers, that he took his mask on…he should’ve kept it in. I was disappoint.