Goodbye!

This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

Mr. Safety

Since the snow forced us to cancel our date tonight, I’ll tell you about one of the guys I’m dating…

You ever meet someone and they’re just….safe? Right after I officially ended things with Texas, this guy hits me up and we start talking. It was that all day, all night conversation that just flowed so freely and easily. We went on our first date and there was no sex – I really like him and didn’t want to be a rebound.

Our conversation didn’t even hit a sexual nature until about a week after our first date and I was horny. So I sent him this picture

And from there everything sped up. The first time I went to his house, we talked for hours. And then hooked up for hours. What I had intended to be a couple hours turned into an overnight stay late into the next day.

He’s a big dude. 6’4, 300lbs. He’s the kind of guy a girl like me can climb. And I do. He’s big into foreplay. Which after not getting any with Texas, is so refreshing. Mr. Safe pays attention to how my body responds and gives me more when I want it and recalibrates his approach when I don’t respond the way he wants.

The actual sex with him is…okay.

I’ve actually had more fun sitting on his face and playing with 69-style with him than I’ve had actually having sex. I like standing over him and forcing him to taste me. I like making him clean himself off my tits after he’s cum on them.

So he’s safe. He’s someone I can explore things with and enjoy myself with. It’s not my favorite. But it’s safe.

Fernando PT. 2

I love booty calls. Especially when I’m the one making the call.

I called up Fernando this morning around and he came running. Made a 45 minute trip in just under 30 minutes.

I told him if we’re going to continue to fuck he needs to take charge while we’re having sex because I was tired of “teaching” him what to do. He apologized and said it was because he didn’t want to “hurt me” which was funny since last time we hooked up he was way too gentle.

So we got a little tipsy off beer, wine and Machete Kills and he did that thing all guys do…started rubbing my knee and SLOWLY worked his way up my thigh…it was so slow I just grabbed his hand and stuck it up my nightie. He told me he was more interested in watching me cum than watching the movie. I just wish he wasn’t so directionally challenged when it comes to a vagina.

AGAIN I had to hold his hand in place for him to hit my spots…granted when I found it and he started working my clit, it wasn’t long before my first orgasm. And I really love it when a guy tastes his fingers after getting me off. UNF. After giving me a couple orgasms that way, he got down on his knees to use his mouth. And I’ll give him props…it was good. Almost as good as Texas. I don’t understand why he has such a hard time navigating my pussy with his digits, but with his mouth he just attacked it and before I could cum he stopped, pulled me up, took me to the side of my bed and bent me over and gave me a good, hard, luscious spanking.

He kept saying I shouldn’t boss him around because it wasn’t my place and that I need to ask his permission if I want him to do anything to me. It was hot and I was wet. I begged him to fuck me like that for what felt like hours.

He basically told me he’d fuck me if I was a good girl by letting him throat fuck me again, and how could I turn down that deal? Granted, I puked on his dick again and that still just as gross to me…but after he came he mounted me and pinned me down, one hand on my neck and the other pressing my wrist against my bed post.

My god, fucking him this time was a completely different experience. I had zero say in what happened to my body. He wasn’t trying to be something he’s not…but he was just forceful enough to slightly scare me and turn me on even more.

The thing I really enjoy about him was that he didn’t need much downtime between blowing his loads. Dude is like a fucking machine.

I think I’ll keep him around to fill the Texas void for now.

The peak of my adult sluttiness

So I had this ex, whom I met on a flight back from Puerto Rico one summer.he was in the army and was flying to LA to visit family. We immediately hit it off, exchanged numbers and began a long distance relationship…him in Puerto Rico, me in the states.

We were supposed to meet up when he was on assignment in my town, but I almost died and spent the whole two weeks he was here in the hospital…so that didn’t happen. Eventually we broke up and I thought I’d never see him again. Until a year later when I ran into him on post. Yup. He was PCS’d here. Awesome.

So I decided to give him another chance and we were finally able to hook up. He was nothing spectacular. He was too slow with his stroke and couldn’t take direction. It was actually kind of sad because the phone sex was reeeeeeaaaalllly good.

So anyways, he’s up here living with a roommate and one day I’m at his place waiting for him to get home, and his roommate is there with me. For whatever reason my guy was super delayed and his rookie and I decided to crack open a few beers and get to know each other. Well, before long his roommate and I were fucking in the stairwell. His roommate was your typical alpha male. Dominant. Controlling. Physically imposing. And fuck did that turn me on. So yeah, I fucked his roommate. That’s not the slutty part…

The slutty part happened 2 hours later when my guy got home and we fucked. Going from his roommate to him was like going from a 60mph inverted roller coaster to a ducking Merry go round and being stuck on the one horse that doesn’t go up and down. Ugh. So sad. So so sad.

Anyways, I eventually told him about his roommate and I..and to be expected he blew.up.

That wasn’t enough to stop me from going over there to get banged out by his roommate while he was home. Nope. That didn’t end until one night the roommate went crazy and locked me in a closet for a few hours and threatened to kill me…but that’s another story for another time.

ALSO: I happened to run into my ex AGAIN, at a club this weekend. We went back to his place and I think the bad sec with him gave my vagina PTSD because I was drier than the Sahara desert. He tried to finger bang me and it was more awkward than the time is was 15 and let my high school boyfriend finger me on the back of a bus. Yeah. Terrible.