This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

Mr. Safety

Since the snow forced us to cancel our date tonight, I’ll tell you about one of the guys I’m dating…

You ever meet someone and they’re just….safe? Right after I officially ended things with Texas, this guy hits me up and we start talking. It was that all day, all night conversation that just flowed so freely and easily. We went on our first date and there was no sex – I really like him and didn’t want to be a rebound.

Our conversation didn’t even hit a sexual nature until about a week after our first date and I was horny. So I sent him this picture

And from there everything sped up. The first time I went to his house, we talked for hours. And then hooked up for hours. What I had intended to be a couple hours turned into an overnight stay late into the next day.

He’s a big dude. 6’4, 300lbs. He’s the kind of guy a girl like me can climb. And I do. He’s big into foreplay. Which after not getting any with Texas, is so refreshing. Mr. Safe pays attention to how my body responds and gives me more when I want it and recalibrates his approach when I don’t respond the way he wants.

The actual sex with him is…okay.

I’ve actually had more fun sitting on his face and playing with 69-style with him than I’ve had actually having sex. I like standing over him and forcing him to taste me. I like making him clean himself off my tits after he’s cum on them.

So he’s safe. He’s someone I can explore things with and enjoy myself with. It’s not my favorite. But it’s safe.

OKC, Sir…

One thing I enjoy about being on OKCupid is the propensity for men to act out their fantasies….most men think they’re this real life Christian Grey, when in reality all they want is to talk the talk…

One guy messaged me from Vancouver, CA and we went from talking about Daniel Day Lewis to him jumping straight into “owning” me…..Now, because this is the internet I happily obliged him…

Truth be told I miss being owned and sometimes I struggle with the want going back to that and having a “normal” (whatever the hell that means) relationship with men.

But it was fun while it lasted with him….

Let’s talk about fantasies..

I can’t sleep and need to get ready for work in 2 hours…so let’s talk about fantasies.

I’ve realized over the years that I have some pretty standard fantasies and done fantasies that my girlfriends and partners have deemed “out there.”

1) The “forced sex” fantasy: I’m naturally a submissive in the bedroom. But I’ve always wanted to relinquish total control over to my partner. This takes an extreme amount of trust obviously. Ever since I first came into my sexuality in my late teens I’ve always wanted my partner to force himself on. Tie me up or down so I can’t move. Threaten me. Use me and be done with me. I want to feel that extreme dominance and power over me. I want him to act out all if his fantasies on me.

2) The “dirty housewife” fantasy: I’m standing in the kitchen, cooking my partners favorite meal when he comes home from work early. Seeing me standing there in a dress and apron he comes up behind me and slowly lifts the hem of my cocktail dress up just to the seam of my panties. As he slides the elastic to the side he starts whispering what a long day he’s had and how he’s so exhausted and just wants to relax and be taken care of. I ask him what he has in mind and he grabs a fistful of my hair and forces me down to my knees, still with my back facing him. He pulls my hair so I’m looking up at him and he bends over and kisses me gently, telling me that he wants to start off with a slow and wet blow job. I happily turn around and start rubbing his cock through his slacks as he lets out that restricted sigh of anticipation. When I feel him fully hard I unzip his pants and take him out with my mouth and begin to slowly work my mouth around the tip…taking him in inch by inch until he’s fully down my throat.

As I’m moving my head up and down on his dick he grabs my hair and pulls me to a standing position, he turns me around and bends me over right next to the stove, which is hot enough by now that I can feel the heat radiating from it. He spanks me 1,2,3,4 times…hard. Hard enough that the neighbors could probably hear. I feel him pushing his fingers at my asshole and he tells me he’s going to fuck my ass harder than I’ve ever been fucker before for not having dinner ready for him. As he enters me he takes no time, thrusting hard and concentrated. Over and over again until he cums. When he pulls out he grabs me by the hair again and tells me to finish dinner before it burns or else he’ll really give me a punishment.

3) “The Santa” Fantasy: ok. I’ve always had fantasy of being fucked by a man dressed as Santa…think Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa. Every Christmas I joke about wanting Santa to empty his sack of goodies down my throat…or giving me his lump of coal for being naughty…but I really do want that to happen.

4) The “party favor” fantasy: there’s something about being used by my partners friends at a party that turns me on. I’m not even wanting to be involved in said party…I’d rather be kept hidden away in a bedroom, for he and his friends to use accordingly. Group sex, gang bang, bukkake… Anything so long as I’m giving he and his friends pleasure.

5) The “public sex” fantasy: not just sex in a public place…I want to be fucked three ways to Sunday in a porno theater. A dark room, with hands coming from every which way feeling me up until I offer myself to them. Glory holes would be even better.

6) The drummer fantasy: now I’ve been told that because of the way a drum kit is setup this fantasy is near impossible but I’ve always wanted to blow a drummer, while he’s playing. I feel like that would take skill on both our parts..but fuck…how awesome would that be, right?