Goodbye!

This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

The injury

You ever fuck so hard you hurt yourself? Sure we’ve all pulled muscles and strained our backs…but like ever had a legit injury that you’ve got to recover from?

I did. Right after I found out about Texas’ lies (the first time). I went out and found the literal first dick I could find. And he wanted to fuck in a kitchen, at his place.

So he’s got me up on a counter top, and we kinda slid around as he was fucking me and I was kind of like half on the counter? Well I shifted my arms the wrong way and my tailbone came off the counter and was banging up against the edge of the counter.

You know how it is when you’re soooooo close to cumming and there’s no turning back or breaking that focus to the finish line? That was us. Just fucking to cum. And we did…and that’s likely when I bruised my tailbone. Because not only was he driving me into the edge of the counter with each stroke, but as he came, he pulled almost all the way out and slammed into me with such force that I hear a “pop” then felt this searing, sharp (then dull, aching) pain in my ass. Literally.

I could barely walk out of his house upright. Sitting in my car was so painful I cried the whole way home. And for the next month I had to sit on a fucking donut because anything else felt like Poseidon was ramming my ass with his trident.

Shit was bad. And that’s why the next time I let a dude fuck me in a kitchen I made sure to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Mr. Safety

Since the snow forced us to cancel our date tonight, I’ll tell you about one of the guys I’m dating…

You ever meet someone and they’re just….safe? Right after I officially ended things with Texas, this guy hits me up and we start talking. It was that all day, all night conversation that just flowed so freely and easily. We went on our first date and there was no sex – I really like him and didn’t want to be a rebound.

Our conversation didn’t even hit a sexual nature until about a week after our first date and I was horny. So I sent him this picture

And from there everything sped up. The first time I went to his house, we talked for hours. And then hooked up for hours. What I had intended to be a couple hours turned into an overnight stay late into the next day.

He’s a big dude. 6’4, 300lbs. He’s the kind of guy a girl like me can climb. And I do. He’s big into foreplay. Which after not getting any with Texas, is so refreshing. Mr. Safe pays attention to how my body responds and gives me more when I want it and recalibrates his approach when I don’t respond the way he wants.

The actual sex with him is…okay.

I’ve actually had more fun sitting on his face and playing with 69-style with him than I’ve had actually having sex. I like standing over him and forcing him to taste me. I like making him clean himself off my tits after he’s cum on them.

So he’s safe. He’s someone I can explore things with and enjoy myself with. It’s not my favorite. But it’s safe.

Back on the saddle

One of the things I’ve been exploring since leaving Texas is the power of my body and sexuality. Exploring how I use my body to please both myself and my partner.

Admittedly while with Texas, I had a lot of hangups while having sex with him. Which meant I was never on top.

But I threw caution to the wind and said “fuck it.” Obviously the guys that want to fuck me, like what they see…so I’ll take advantage of that.

Enter “Taco”…he’s called Taco in my book because he fucked me after feeding me tacos once. And that was pretty fucking awesome.

I met Taco on OKC, and it was really one of those conversations that started with me saying, “so how’s a lady supposed to get in your pants?” And after like 4 more texts I found myself at his house at 3am. Taco was the first cock I’d had in me since Texas and because of that I made it clear that when I got over there the first night it wasn’t to get to know each other.

And we didn’t. I got to his place, knocked on the door, and he answered the door naked with a huge, hard cock. We made it to his couch. I didn’t even realize he actually had a bed until like the 3rd time I was with him.

He tried to fuck me bent over the back of the couch but the angles were 100% wrong (thanks Ikea), we didn’t hit our stride until I got him on the couch and straddled him. There was something so liberating about watching him enjoy me riding him. And something even more enjoyable seeing his face smothered in between my tits.

Sadly, I wasn’t able to cum from being on top, as much as I enjoyed being in complete control of us. So I told him, before he could cut he needed to get me off first, because I’m a fuckin lady, right?

He bent my ass like it was a pretzel and hit the exact spot I needed hit…over and over again. He took a position I was used to with Texas, and took it to an EXTREME. I came so hard on my final orgasm I accidentally slapped him. Oops.

And then I left and was home by 4:30am.

Interesting note about Taco: he could be twins with one of Texas’ best friends.

My first twofer.

Let me just take a minute to say that today has been great.  Had a killer job interview, got to see Texas, had some delicious mexican food and was – up until about 10 minutes ago – setting up a night of sexy times.  Then, my food allergies decided that they wanted to pay me a visit…ON MY FACE.  So now I’m sitting here scratching the hives on my cheek hoping that my allergy pills kick in.  Thanks delicious mexican food for ruining my celebratory sexy time night.

So instead of my original plans I thought I’d tell you guys about the time I had my first twofer…

I’m like 18/19 years old and hanging out with the guy I was dating at the time and one of his friends.  I was pretty head over heels for this guy and the sex was pretty okay.  I knew there was one guy in his group of friends that was attracted to me, but I never really gave him a chance, and that guy knew it, we’ll call him The OG (Other Guy).   Well after a few joints and a few beers, the guy I was dating – lets refer to him as The Conductor – tells me to go get in bed and wait for him.  I do, gladly, I was horny and knew I was gonna get some before the night was over.

Sex with The Conductor was pretty vanilla for the most part.  Missionary, doggy style, missionary, doggy style then he’d cum.  To his credit, he knew how to stroke it just right to make it satisfying for me (read:  Not get me off all the time, but enough for it to be pleasurable).

This evening was no different, I just thought it was a bit strange for him to leave his friend in the living room to come bang me.  When he walked in I was sitting on the edge of his bed waiting, he unzipped his pants, grabbed me by the back of my head and brought me to his dick. He was always in control of me giving him head. The pace, the depth, even the techniques with my mouth, he told me what i would and wouldn’t do. Before we actually had sex, he stopped and asked me if I would be okay leaving the door cracked because according to him, “I want my boys to know how good you are in bed.”  Little ole me, of course was like, “HELL YEAH!”  Whatever.

He bent me over the bed and began to fuck me, per usual.  We went through the normal positions, and when he came he pulled out and came on my pussy and made sure to as he always said, “rub it in” (don’t ask). Pretty par for the course for him.  What wasn’t, was when he asked me if I’d pity fuck his friend…So like any good slutty girlfriend, I finally offered to give The OG what he wanted. The Conductor left me in his room and brought him in. Dude was hard as a rock from listening through the cracked door…which at the time creeped me out a bit, in hindsight kind of turns me on…

The thing about The OG was that he was a shy guy by nature and I was very submissive…meaning neither of us were going to make the first move.  So my ever-so-caring man decided he would “conduct the symphony” so-to-speak.  I never knew The Conductor could be anything other than mechanical with sex, but when he got The OG and I into action, he was all about the roughness.  He wanted to hear my ass being smacked and wanted to hear my whimpers with each strike. He kept coming up to me and asking me if I liked it and every time I said yes, I’d get another smack.   He was outright giving me what I wanted…and when we were done, my right ass cheek was bruised and he in the days following he made no issue of slapping me there to remind me of what a “good girl” I was.

So as I’m riding The OG, The Conductor asks me to turn around and face him (my back to The OG) and keep riding. He kneeled down and watched me take The OG.  Next thing I know, he’s got his face between my legs and is licking my clit as I’m bouncing on The OG’s dick. Fucking hot and at the time I considered it crazy…because I’d only ever seen that shit in pornos.

I feel like in my sexual career very few men have cum for me when I’ve been on top.  The OG did though. He had a condom on but when he came he slammed his hips up into me so hard it knocked me back onto his chest.  I felt bad when he finished because The Conductor wasted no time making us get dressed and cleaned up. The OG never really said much to me after that and eventually he moved away…

As for The Conductor, I asked why what happened took place…He admitted that he was turned on watching me give another man pleasure when I still had his hot cum on me. We never did anything like that again…but I guess it was practice for Texas maybe?

 

A double whammy

I can’t sleep apparently…so here you go:

So I met up with a friend who I had blown years ago. We’ve got a lot of mutual friends but keep going back and forth regarding us being friends. Right now we’re not friends lol

Anyways, he’s in town for the holidays and is flying back to wherever tomorrow. He’s a combat medic, so he’ll be called The Medic. He came over the night before last and we decided to exchange numbers…for the umpteenth time in 5 years. Well as yesterday progressed we agreed to meet up for beers. Then I find out he hasn’t gotten any action in months. You know me, I’m a patriot. So I offer to end his dry spell. The original plan was to just bang it out in his car. But we ended up back in my apartment, which was fine because walking from a car all the way into my purpose would have defeated my plans later in the night.

I’ve had The Medics dick in my mouth before. And for a skinny Asian dude he’s got a cock on him. He wasted no time shoving my head down on his whole dick and holding me there. With no warning, I immediately gagged and dug my nails into his thighs and forced way back up his shaft. He really just wanted me to take him in all at once…I guess he heard the stories in our group of friends? So I let him. I let him thrust into my mouth until he pulled out and came all over the left side of my face. He smeared it all around and I can still smell his cum. He’s got a fair sized load, and I scraped what I could off my face and tasted him as he watched. I snapped a few pics of his “artwork” for Texas while he recharged his batteries and when he was ready for round two he pounded me like a boxer to a punching bag.

The stroke game was UH-MAZING. He fucked hard and rough and without asking covered my mouth, leaned in and said, “I told you I’d fuck the shit out of you. You’re such a little slut. Did you like the way my dick tastes?” I love it when men dirty talk like that…and I’m already quick to orgasm and that just set off a chain of orgasms that were so different than I’d ever felt. They were long lasting and powerful, but not enough to make my legs shake…I felt these in my bones each time and each time when they’d peak, I’d almost black out. I know I was loud and I know my neighbors could hear but goddamnit if I couldn’t control myself.

When he finished, he came in me and on my pussy, knowing that I’d be sending pictures to Texas. Who, upon seeing me covered and dripping in his cum, made his way down for seconds.

Within 5 minutes of The Medic finishing he left, I wished him well and sent him packing.

About 30 minutes later Texas comes walking into my place, strips his clothes and begins fucking me. I know he likes me covered in cum. I can see it in his eyes, and he fucks me differently when I’ve been with another man. Within 20 minutes, he came inside me and was leaving. Now mind you, my pussy was already full of cum from the medic when Texas got there. Walking him out afterwards was simultaneously awkward and erotic.

I feel like a dirty girl. My body is spent and my bed sheets are splattered in cum.

Let’s call him Ryan.

That’s not his name but I couldn’t remember is real name for the life of me.

Last night was my Hetero life mates birthday so we went out for drinks and karaoke at this dive in the city. She told me in the days leading up about her friend “Ryan” who had seen pictures of me on Facebook and wanted to get to know me…well being that she knows me she told him I wouldn’t get to know him and would just fuck him. (She and I are like one in the same)…

So we’re out drinking and he and I start chatting, the conversation goes like this:

Me: I want to get “cumslut” tattooed on the inside of my bottom lip
Him: that’s cute, I’m sure you’re not though.
Me: the one thing I want before the end of the year is a bukkake with like, 10 dudes.
Him: so you wanna go back to my place?

At first I was like fuck yeah, but then realized he lived an hour fucking away from where my car was, and I’ve got things to do in the morning…so no.

But my HLM then says use my place! You can use my bed! (Did I mention how much I love her??)

By closing time Ryan and I are making out like teenagers in the back of a lyft with 2 other people (a friend who used to work for me and his HLM)… We were THOSE people. My hand was down his pants, he had my tits out and was basically tongue fucking my mouth (we were beyond kissing at this point.)

So we get back to my HLM’s house go upstairs and get down to business…and to give you a time frame, this was at about 2am…I know that because I called Texas to see if he could give is a ride at 1:30.

Anyways, this whole night he’s been talking about how he can’t wait to get in my pussy, and how he wants me to cum all over his face as I’m sucking him off…turn on right?

No. I must have drank way too much because my pussy was more dry than the African savannah. It was a desert down there and I’m not a fool, spit wasn’t going to be enough. So I roll him on his back and take him in my mouth…admittedly, even at half mast with whisky dick, he still had a big dick. Like…big enough that today my jaw hurts.

And I’m not saying I’m a pro or anything at giving head, but I can usually get a guy to cum within 5 minutes. Not this dude…oh no. I had his dick in my mouth for 3 hours. 3. And we tried everything to get him off…69, rimming, throatfucking, etc…and nothing. Then he tells me he’s never gotten off from receiving. (Asshole…should have told me that before I blew my jaw out.)

What he lacked in the ability to cum he more than made up for with the ability to eat pussy. I used to hate it when guys would go down on me…it takes forever and I’m convinced I killed the nerves in my clit. But shit. My god. I’ve never wanted to strap myself onto a mans face like that before. I may or may not have woken up in the middle of the night and sat on his face…maybe 😉 – sidenote, still couldn’t cum from that. I was fighting a losing battle.

So meanwhile, after a pee break I get back in bed and he’s trying so hard to stay hard but the whisky was too much. And I have to say, men if you’re going to fingerbang a woman, trim your nails and know which hole you’re in. At one point, he was in my asshole and said to “god your pussy is tight.” Yeah…because that’s my shit pipe. Sorry to break it to you.

He didn’t actually cum until this morning. When he woke me up by fucking me and sucking on my tits…and when he’s fully hard it’s really fucking good. For a skinny metal head who looks like Brian “Head” Welch from Korn, his dick was huge…definitely not proportionate to his skinny body frame.

And let me say 2 things before I end this:

1) my ability to blow dudes and text at the same time is scary good.

2) you know you’ve got a great group of friends when two of them (females) walk into the bedroom watch you deep throat a dude that one of them has fucked then go get in the shower together. Followed by a third friend who does the same before getting in the shower with them. Then followed by a random dude who came to see where they went, watched you semi-puke on a dudes dick then gets in the shower with the three girls. And the next morning when you tell your HLM you owe her a bottle of lube, they all turn over in the air mattress they slept on, laugh at you and then high-five you.

I have awesome friends.

A bit of a late birthday present Pt 1…

Remember that birthday present I wrote about wanting from Texas a few months back?

I got about as close to that as I could…and I regret absolutely nothing!!! I mean sure my pussy is still sore as hell, I can’t move my back or sit in chairs with high backs, and sure my tits are bruised and swollen and I have to wear a scarf in 90 degree weather to cover the hickeys…but I’m a happy girl.

Earlier this week, Texas texted me that his friend (AKA The Biter) wanted to fuck me. Apparently they share women frequently…not a big deal to me…and being that I had never met The Biter before and hey…who doesn’t love new dick?

So we meet up and hung out for a few and I really wasn’t getting any signs from The Biter that he was down to fuck…he coyly lured me into his bedroom with tales of knowing a very well known rapper. Then he randomly leaves me in his room, alone with the lights off. I don’t know what changed but as soon as he came back he hopped in bed with me and things started moving faster than what even I’m used to. The sex was alright, he’s got a good dick…satisfying in that respect but the stroke game…that makes a different. He was pounding me to a weird rhythm and at one point was in such a weird position on top of me that I could feel him pushing against my asshole from inside of me….very weird…and sadly I came nowhere close to having an orgasm.

I’ll give him props though…he hurt me so damn good. I’m calling him The Biter because my god…I look like a battered woman on my back and breasts. Bruises EVERYWHERE. He may or may not be part zombie because he was gnawing on my flesh.

And he was the first guy that I remember having to actually “tap out” with while being choked. Both hands around my neck with full pressure. So fucking hot. Goddamn. And he was all about silencing me. He had a hand clamped over my mouth and kept telling me to “shut the fuck up”…

YES SIR!

And so when he finally came I told him in my mouth…granted he had the worst aim and missed most of my mouth…but him getting it all over my neck and face came into play later…And even though he needs to work on his rhythm, I’d definitely let him hit it again. His dick was good enough.

So when we finish I get up, put my clothes on, tell him, “thanks for coming on my face” and walk across the hall to Texas’ room….

And that’s part 2 of this adventure 😉

Mystery Man

So long story short I threw my back out Friday and have been in constant pain (bad pain) since then.  It all accumulated today when I had to fucking roll and slide out of my bed (a three foot drop to the ground), army crawl to the stairs, slide down those, and army crawl into my kitchen to find food because I’d been awake for 8 hours and needed to stuff my face.  In between the pain meds, muscle relaxers and down time I’ve spent a lot of time thinking….which is incredibly dangerous for me.  My mind is my greatest weapon when it comes to me being my own worst enemy.

For some reason I keep thinking about this dream over and over in my head that I had last night…

I’m cooking dinner when a man shows up at my door…I don’t know who he is.  Not literally (because according to him we know each other)  but in my mind I can’t make out his features…all I know is he smells like Arber cologne from The Body Shop (the number 1 scent on a man that instantly turns me on).  I greet him with a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug and invite him in.  He’s familiar.  His presence is safe and comforting.

He’s dressed in nice jeans and a dark blue button down shirt and I’m in this drop front black dress and 6inch, red, patent leather wedges.  I tower over him but it doesn’t bother me.

I’m cooking flank steak, Spanish rice and have fresh tortillas warming in the oven.  He picks up a knife and starts helping me dice onions and peppers.  When dinner is ready we sit in front of my window overlooking the bay.  Its a clear night right around dusk and the sunset is creating the warm orange/pinkish glow that accents the lights on the port and city beautifully.  We enjoy our meal and talk about politics, social issues and aliens (don’t ask).

We move over to my couch to continue the conversation, and the topics shift from personal views and opinions to talking about sexual histories.  We spend hours probing each others minds about various fetishes, fantasies and desires over a bottles of wine when I decide to kick things up a notch.  I straddle him as he tries to tell me about the time in college that he had a threesome.  I’m kissing him everywhere…his lips to his ears, down his neck, around his collar bone and back up to his lips as he slides his hand up my thigh and under my dress.  I’m not wearing any panties and he takes advantage of that; running his fingers in between my cheeks and gently grazing my backside.  In my dream I’m anticipating him exploring more and my heart starts to race with excitement. I want nothing more than for him to discover my body.  To find out how to touch me and where to touch me to elicit the responses he wants.

I can feel him hardening under me with every movement of my hips grinding into him.  I start to unbutton his shirt and run my hands over his chest and through his dark brown hair…I love a man with chest hair.  Jesus-fucking-Christ do I love a man with thick chest hair.

He tells me he’s missed the feel of my skin in his hands, that he missed the way I sucked on his ear…the way I moaned when he used to bite my bottom lip and the he way I move my body when he runs his hands over my lower back and ass.  All I can think about is how familiar this is.  How much I’ve wanted this from him…and even though I’m inches away from his face I can’t tell who he is.  The lights are down in my apartment and the only illumination is coming from the lights of the city. 

I work my way down his body as I’m unbuttoning the rest of his shirt until I get to the waist band of his pants.  I look up at him and smile. I want what’s under his pants.  I want to worship his cock and show him how much I love it.  He puts his hands in my hair and tells me, “do what you want baby”.  I take my time unwrapping him.  I’m excited and want to savor every moment and I can’t take my eyes off him.  He’s studying me, watching my hands and my face….I secretly hope he can’t tell how much I want him.  I hope he can’t see the anticipation in my eyes. 

I pull his pants and boxers off and he’s rock solid in all of his glory and I can’t help but smile as I take him in my mouth and swirl my tongue around his head.  I love the sigh he gives me as I make my way down his shaft, working my hands in a circular motion around his base as my head bobs up and down on him.  When he grabs my head he doesn’t force me down on him, he doesn’t try to control me, he just holds onto me like I’m whats keeping him connected to this world.  The longer I have him in my mouth the less I want to stop myself.  I stop to tell him how much I love his cock and how perfect it is and he just smiles at me and tells me to “come here.”  I don’t want to stop but he gives me a little yank on my hair. 

As I stand up he grabs my hips and lowers me onto him, slowly until he’s fully inside of me.  I start rocking back and forth with guidance from his hands on my hips and I can already start to feel the ecstasy building inside of me. He’s controlling the pace and keeping things slow, but his grasp on my body is getting tighter.  He moves his hands up my back and pulls me into him so my breasts smother his face.  He takes my nipple in his mouth and bites down gently, enough to send a shiver up my spine adding to the pleasure I’m already experiencing.

He starts to increase the pace I’m riding him at and I can’t control myself anymore. I’m right there on that edge, teetering back and forth as I’m riding him…everything is being stimulated and he grabs my face and kisses me.  He can tell I’m going to cum soon and tells me to wait for him because he’s close too.  He wants to look me in my eyes as he pushes me over the edge. My body explodes and shakes uncontrollably as he drags my hips across his lap in short, disjointed strokes.  I’m hot and sweaty and collapsed in a heap on him…

We sit there for a while, in silence…blissful silence.  He strokes up and down my back with his hands as I kiss his shoulders and its just perfect and comforting.

 

Then my horny ass woke up in pain and it was over.  Just like that.  Stupid fucking subconscious.

Who was that guy in my dream?  Why was the sex so incredible? It was so gentle but that orgasm was fucking fantastic…Why was I cooking Mexican food instead of something that’s more my style?  Why wasn’t I able to make out his face?  Why did he feel so safe and comfortable?  Why didn’t we get in bed?

So many questions and ZERO answers god dammit.

Ugh.

 

OKC, Sir…

One thing I enjoy about being on OKCupid is the propensity for men to act out their fantasies….most men think they’re this real life Christian Grey, when in reality all they want is to talk the talk…

One guy messaged me from Vancouver, CA and we went from talking about Daniel Day Lewis to him jumping straight into “owning” me…..Now, because this is the internet I happily obliged him…

Truth be told I miss being owned and sometimes I struggle with the want going back to that and having a “normal” (whatever the hell that means) relationship with men.

But it was fun while it lasted with him….