Goodbye!

This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

Mr. Safety

Since the snow forced us to cancel our date tonight, I’ll tell you about one of the guys I’m dating…

You ever meet someone and they’re just….safe? Right after I officially ended things with Texas, this guy hits me up and we start talking. It was that all day, all night conversation that just flowed so freely and easily. We went on our first date and there was no sex – I really like him and didn’t want to be a rebound.

Our conversation didn’t even hit a sexual nature until about a week after our first date and I was horny. So I sent him this picture

And from there everything sped up. The first time I went to his house, we talked for hours. And then hooked up for hours. What I had intended to be a couple hours turned into an overnight stay late into the next day.

He’s a big dude. 6’4, 300lbs. He’s the kind of guy a girl like me can climb. And I do. He’s big into foreplay. Which after not getting any with Texas, is so refreshing. Mr. Safe pays attention to how my body responds and gives me more when I want it and recalibrates his approach when I don’t respond the way he wants.

The actual sex with him is…okay.

I’ve actually had more fun sitting on his face and playing with 69-style with him than I’ve had actually having sex. I like standing over him and forcing him to taste me. I like making him clean himself off my tits after he’s cum on them.

So he’s safe. He’s someone I can explore things with and enjoy myself with. It’s not my favorite. But it’s safe.

A double whammy

I can’t sleep apparently…so here you go:

So I met up with a friend who I had blown years ago. We’ve got a lot of mutual friends but keep going back and forth regarding us being friends. Right now we’re not friends lol

Anyways, he’s in town for the holidays and is flying back to wherever tomorrow. He’s a combat medic, so he’ll be called The Medic. He came over the night before last and we decided to exchange numbers…for the umpteenth time in 5 years. Well as yesterday progressed we agreed to meet up for beers. Then I find out he hasn’t gotten any action in months. You know me, I’m a patriot. So I offer to end his dry spell. The original plan was to just bang it out in his car. But we ended up back in my apartment, which was fine because walking from a car all the way into my purpose would have defeated my plans later in the night.

I’ve had The Medics dick in my mouth before. And for a skinny Asian dude he’s got a cock on him. He wasted no time shoving my head down on his whole dick and holding me there. With no warning, I immediately gagged and dug my nails into his thighs and forced way back up his shaft. He really just wanted me to take him in all at once…I guess he heard the stories in our group of friends? So I let him. I let him thrust into my mouth until he pulled out and came all over the left side of my face. He smeared it all around and I can still smell his cum. He’s got a fair sized load, and I scraped what I could off my face and tasted him as he watched. I snapped a few pics of his “artwork” for Texas while he recharged his batteries and when he was ready for round two he pounded me like a boxer to a punching bag.

The stroke game was UH-MAZING. He fucked hard and rough and without asking covered my mouth, leaned in and said, “I told you I’d fuck the shit out of you. You’re such a little slut. Did you like the way my dick tastes?” I love it when men dirty talk like that…and I’m already quick to orgasm and that just set off a chain of orgasms that were so different than I’d ever felt. They were long lasting and powerful, but not enough to make my legs shake…I felt these in my bones each time and each time when they’d peak, I’d almost black out. I know I was loud and I know my neighbors could hear but goddamnit if I couldn’t control myself.

When he finished, he came in me and on my pussy, knowing that I’d be sending pictures to Texas. Who, upon seeing me covered and dripping in his cum, made his way down for seconds.

Within 5 minutes of The Medic finishing he left, I wished him well and sent him packing.

About 30 minutes later Texas comes walking into my place, strips his clothes and begins fucking me. I know he likes me covered in cum. I can see it in his eyes, and he fucks me differently when I’ve been with another man. Within 20 minutes, he came inside me and was leaving. Now mind you, my pussy was already full of cum from the medic when Texas got there. Walking him out afterwards was simultaneously awkward and erotic.

I feel like a dirty girl. My body is spent and my bed sheets are splattered in cum.

The old friend.

So I texted an old friend today, with complete innocent intentions of catching up. We used to work together and occasionally keep in contact. We’ve never hooked up, although have flirted with the idea several times in the way back. As the conversation progressed and we started making plans, and he kept hinting at getting together this evening. Not at all what I had in mind, but I was already horny thinking about Texas hooking up with a friend of his tonight. So I decided what the hell, I’ll give him a shot.

We kind of hung out for a few, and he was quick to take his shirt off and ask for a massage. I have notoriously bony fingers but he’s a big dude and could probably handle my nubs digging into his neck and shoulder blades.

We made out for a bit. Nothing too crazy, but enough to make me feel like I was back in school again. He was holding onto me for dear life. What he did was actually embrace me. Which felt slightly awkward.

By the time we made it into the bedroom, I’d for some reason lost my sex drive…completely. Not because of anything he did, I just had a lot of things on my mind I think.

When I finally got around to blowing him, it was dead silent. I mean, you could hear his cats claws on the carpet. I worked my magic and was out of there in about 30 minutes…my slogan should be “you’ll cum in 30 minutes or less, or your money back” (sidenote: no money has EVER been exchanged for sexual favors. EVER. With anyone.)

But I did hear for the third time in about a week that I give phenomenal head…think it’s true?

Let’s call him Ryan.

That’s not his name but I couldn’t remember is real name for the life of me.

Last night was my Hetero life mates birthday so we went out for drinks and karaoke at this dive in the city. She told me in the days leading up about her friend “Ryan” who had seen pictures of me on Facebook and wanted to get to know me…well being that she knows me she told him I wouldn’t get to know him and would just fuck him. (She and I are like one in the same)…

So we’re out drinking and he and I start chatting, the conversation goes like this:

Me: I want to get “cumslut” tattooed on the inside of my bottom lip
Him: that’s cute, I’m sure you’re not though.
Me: the one thing I want before the end of the year is a bukkake with like, 10 dudes.
Him: so you wanna go back to my place?

At first I was like fuck yeah, but then realized he lived an hour fucking away from where my car was, and I’ve got things to do in the morning…so no.

But my HLM then says use my place! You can use my bed! (Did I mention how much I love her??)

By closing time Ryan and I are making out like teenagers in the back of a lyft with 2 other people (a friend who used to work for me and his HLM)… We were THOSE people. My hand was down his pants, he had my tits out and was basically tongue fucking my mouth (we were beyond kissing at this point.)

So we get back to my HLM’s house go upstairs and get down to business…and to give you a time frame, this was at about 2am…I know that because I called Texas to see if he could give is a ride at 1:30.

Anyways, this whole night he’s been talking about how he can’t wait to get in my pussy, and how he wants me to cum all over his face as I’m sucking him off…turn on right?

No. I must have drank way too much because my pussy was more dry than the African savannah. It was a desert down there and I’m not a fool, spit wasn’t going to be enough. So I roll him on his back and take him in my mouth…admittedly, even at half mast with whisky dick, he still had a big dick. Like…big enough that today my jaw hurts.

And I’m not saying I’m a pro or anything at giving head, but I can usually get a guy to cum within 5 minutes. Not this dude…oh no. I had his dick in my mouth for 3 hours. 3. And we tried everything to get him off…69, rimming, throatfucking, etc…and nothing. Then he tells me he’s never gotten off from receiving. (Asshole…should have told me that before I blew my jaw out.)

What he lacked in the ability to cum he more than made up for with the ability to eat pussy. I used to hate it when guys would go down on me…it takes forever and I’m convinced I killed the nerves in my clit. But shit. My god. I’ve never wanted to strap myself onto a mans face like that before. I may or may not have woken up in the middle of the night and sat on his face…maybe 😉 – sidenote, still couldn’t cum from that. I was fighting a losing battle.

So meanwhile, after a pee break I get back in bed and he’s trying so hard to stay hard but the whisky was too much. And I have to say, men if you’re going to fingerbang a woman, trim your nails and know which hole you’re in. At one point, he was in my asshole and said to “god your pussy is tight.” Yeah…because that’s my shit pipe. Sorry to break it to you.

He didn’t actually cum until this morning. When he woke me up by fucking me and sucking on my tits…and when he’s fully hard it’s really fucking good. For a skinny metal head who looks like Brian “Head” Welch from Korn, his dick was huge…definitely not proportionate to his skinny body frame.

And let me say 2 things before I end this:

1) my ability to blow dudes and text at the same time is scary good.

2) you know you’ve got a great group of friends when two of them (females) walk into the bedroom watch you deep throat a dude that one of them has fucked then go get in the shower together. Followed by a third friend who does the same before getting in the shower with them. Then followed by a random dude who came to see where they went, watched you semi-puke on a dudes dick then gets in the shower with the three girls. And the next morning when you tell your HLM you owe her a bottle of lube, they all turn over in the air mattress they slept on, laugh at you and then high-five you.

I have awesome friends.

OKC, Sir…

One thing I enjoy about being on OKCupid is the propensity for men to act out their fantasies….most men think they’re this real life Christian Grey, when in reality all they want is to talk the talk…

One guy messaged me from Vancouver, CA and we went from talking about Daniel Day Lewis to him jumping straight into “owning” me…..Now, because this is the internet I happily obliged him…

Truth be told I miss being owned and sometimes I struggle with the want going back to that and having a “normal” (whatever the hell that means) relationship with men.

But it was fun while it lasted with him….

Cumslut scavenger hunt: Results edition!

In my last post I told you I was on a mission to find a man to blow so I could send Texas a picture of my mouth full of cum…it was a success. I win!

SIDENOTE: excuse my typos, I’m still kind if tipsy.

So we ended up at this dive bar in the middle of nowhere, just drinking with the old bikers who frequent this place. There’s like 5 of us and I know three of the people really well, but this guy (I think his name was max?) is there as a guest of my friend. He’s not my type but he was definitely an easy pick….doesn’t hurt that he kept telling me how beautiful he thought I was.

Well Max happens to live near this bar so we all went back to his place for a few. Knowing what my goal was for the night I immediately went into predator mode doing all but actually telling him I wanted him to facefuck me into oblivion. And I’m not very subtle. I intentionally walked away from him while we were talking and went straight into his bedroom, hoping he would follow. Luckily he wasn’t so drunk that he missed my hint.

I’m not a naturally dominant woman in the bedroom, but tonight everything felt different. I immediately shut the door, turned to him and started to take his belt off (I’m getting good one handed). He kept asking, “is this real? You’re gonna put those lips on my dick?” I don’t think reality set in until I shoved him down on the bed and put his dick I’m my mouth, actually.

I wasn’t surprised by his pocket snake…it looked exactly like him…long and skinny with a big head. Exactly like a mushroom, which I vehemently hate.

So anyways, I waste no time trying to warm him up to what’s going to happen because he’s already got a raging hard-on. I just buried him in my mouth. It surprised him and he kind of jumped when I did that. I told him I wanted him to fuck my throat so hard that it would still hurt next weekend…it took him some time to get the hang of grabbing my hair, holding my face and forcing me down on him. But when he did he was relentless…one of the roughest face-fuckings I’ve had in a long time.

I got tired of sitting on my knees so I made him move over to the love seat in his room so I could sit on that while he stood over me. It gave me a chance to be comfortable. and him to have more control and the longer we were in that position the more turned on I got.

So now he’s standing over me, balls deep down my throat when the next thing I know he’s cupping his balls and shoving them into my mouth. Normally, I love a good set of balls. Drag em across my face, lemme suck on em…I love it. But with his dick forcefully ramming my mouth it just didn’t work out right.

What did work out was when he was standing over me, using my hair to make my mouth fuck him like I was a marionette doll. Something about having my hair pulled while I’m getting my mouth ravished gets me wet. The mixture of pain and pleasure I think.

I told him that I wanted him to cum on my tongue. So when he was close to finishing he jerked himself off a couple times while I waited there with my tongue out like a good little girl. I was surprised with his accuracy. As soon as he was done, I shoved him out of the way and ran to the bathroom to take a picture to send to Texas. I don’t think he knew what hit him.

Usually I love to swallow. Because usually I enjoy the taste of cum. But this dudes jizz was thick like a milkshake but tasted like picketed beets. NOT.GOOD.

When I came out of the bathroom he was all, “what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong?”

I wasn’t going to tell him why he was lucky enough to have my lips grace his dick but it came out of me anyways. The look on his face reminded me of the look Simba had when Mufasa died. Horror.

Oh well. I gave Texas what he wanted..and after tonight I’m excited to give him more. 🙂

Cumslut scavenger hunt!

I’m out with some friends tonight. He…the one I started this blog because of…I should give him a name…he’ll be known as Texas…because everything is bigger in Texas….

So anyways, I’m out right now. Texas wants a picture of me with a mouthful of cum. It’s my goal tonight to give him that.

It’s a cumslut scavenger hunt!

I’ll report back later.

The time I hooked up at work

Office romances rarely work out. But I had met this guy at my job and my vagina went into hyperdrive. Immediately we started hanging out…then making out in his office.

Let’s call him John.

John was probably the best kisser I’ve ever had. He knew just how to alternate between sweet, soft kisses and wildly passionate ones. And the way he worked my mouth was the same way he worked my tits and clit. Holy fuck.

One particular night at work, after everyone left, John and I were getting steamy in his office until his pager went off alerting him something was wrong elsewhere in the building…so naturally we both went to check it out. Once we figured out that nothing was wrong we resumed our activities…

This led to me dropping to my knees and whipping his dick out behind the desk in the office we were in. He told me he never really liked receiving oral (what is it with men?) but was game if I wanted to do it.

SIDENOTE: I absolutely love everything about giving head. The feeling of a hard cock in my mouth turns me on more than spanking. I love the taste of cum…it’s to the point that the guy now calls me a “cum slut” and don’t even get me started about that moment just before a man cums when his body tenses up and he loses control of his body. Ugh. So hot.

Anyways. John had one of those dicks that was extremely curved. Upwards and to the right. It was pretty average other than the fact that it kind of reminded me of an elephant trunk when they’re making that house they make (you know the one.)

John was already a really giving person…but man was he just the sweetest head recipient ever…he gave me a temple and ear massage while I was gurgling his cock. It was weird.

So as he’s cumming, we hear a knock on the door. The overnight guy was there to relive him (as if I wasn’t enough lol) and his pants are around his knees and I’m frantically trying to swallow his load, make sure he didn’t accidentally cum on me anywhere else and put my tits back in my shirt.
We got caught. Know how we got caught? We forgot the door to the office had one of those long skinny windows…Mmhmmm….dude saw pretty much everything. I’ve done plenty of walks of shame, but I’ll tell you the most awkward one was having to slide past the overnight guy as I’m wiping the corners of my mouth.