Goodbye!

This is going to be the final blog for Sniffles.

Realizing I’ve been the victim of constant and repeated emotional and physical abuse at the hands of Texas has made me re-evaluate my choices and how I live my life. I need a break from the steamy affairs.

This is my chance to live my life for myself finally, and part of that means Marie Kondo-ing everything that reminds me of him, and sadly that means this blog.

It’s been fun, until it wasn’t anymore. Thank you for reading my pleasures and remember that life is too short for bad sex.

The injury

You ever fuck so hard you hurt yourself? Sure we’ve all pulled muscles and strained our backs…but like ever had a legit injury that you’ve got to recover from?

I did. Right after I found out about Texas’ lies (the first time). I went out and found the literal first dick I could find. And he wanted to fuck in a kitchen, at his place.

So he’s got me up on a counter top, and we kinda slid around as he was fucking me and I was kind of like half on the counter? Well I shifted my arms the wrong way and my tailbone came off the counter and was banging up against the edge of the counter.

You know how it is when you’re soooooo close to cumming and there’s no turning back or breaking that focus to the finish line? That was us. Just fucking to cum. And we did…and that’s likely when I bruised my tailbone. Because not only was he driving me into the edge of the counter with each stroke, but as he came, he pulled almost all the way out and slammed into me with such force that I hear a “pop” then felt this searing, sharp (then dull, aching) pain in my ass. Literally.

I could barely walk out of his house upright. Sitting in my car was so painful I cried the whole way home. And for the next month I had to sit on a fucking donut because anything else felt like Poseidon was ramming my ass with his trident.

Shit was bad. And that’s why the next time I let a dude fuck me in a kitchen I made sure to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Mr. Safety

Since the snow forced us to cancel our date tonight, I’ll tell you about one of the guys I’m dating…

You ever meet someone and they’re just….safe? Right after I officially ended things with Texas, this guy hits me up and we start talking. It was that all day, all night conversation that just flowed so freely and easily. We went on our first date and there was no sex – I really like him and didn’t want to be a rebound.

Our conversation didn’t even hit a sexual nature until about a week after our first date and I was horny. So I sent him this picture

And from there everything sped up. The first time I went to his house, we talked for hours. And then hooked up for hours. What I had intended to be a couple hours turned into an overnight stay late into the next day.

He’s a big dude. 6’4, 300lbs. He’s the kind of guy a girl like me can climb. And I do. He’s big into foreplay. Which after not getting any with Texas, is so refreshing. Mr. Safe pays attention to how my body responds and gives me more when I want it and recalibrates his approach when I don’t respond the way he wants.

The actual sex with him is…okay.

I’ve actually had more fun sitting on his face and playing with 69-style with him than I’ve had actually having sex. I like standing over him and forcing him to taste me. I like making him clean himself off my tits after he’s cum on them.

So he’s safe. He’s someone I can explore things with and enjoy myself with. It’s not my favorite. But it’s safe.

So about this weekend part 1

My goal was to get as much cum as I could, and I succeeded in that.

Friday night started off with me hooking up with a friend from high school. I’ve always wanted to find out what he was working with, so when he called me and told me he wanted a crack at my pussy I couldn’t say no. Spur of the moment I went over to his place (his moms house…still the same as when we were in high school). We had a beer and he was stalling for a bit until he came out of the bathroom. He say down and we started to kiss. My ultimate goal was get the cum and get out of dodge, but he wanted to make it complicated. We’re sitting on this couch and I’m on my knees in front of him sucking his cock like a good little cum slut, then he tells me he wants me on top to 69…which is literally my least favorite position. So I gave him a good solid minute before I flipped around and sat on his dick.

Now, the rumor in high school was that he had a massive cock. Thats true. A solid 8.5 inches long and 6 or 7 in girth. Enough that when I was on top of him I was able to bounce like I was on a pogo stick. I told him I wanted him to “use me as a cum rag” so I got on my stomach and let him play with me from that angle for a minute. He explored my ass while he was fucking me but he came before he could put anything in it.

The most surprising thing was that immediately he was like, “I’m not done, I need to cum again.”

Well I had somewhere to be so I asked him how quick he could be and what would be the quickest way to get him off…I really had to go.

He jerked himself off and came on my breasts. I kind of smeared it around since he was a light cummer and basically went on my way home with his cum dripping out of me to start the next part of my night.

My experience with him was a one time thing…since I’m friends with his baby mama.

Let’s call him Ryan.

That’s not his name but I couldn’t remember is real name for the life of me.

Last night was my Hetero life mates birthday so we went out for drinks and karaoke at this dive in the city. She told me in the days leading up about her friend “Ryan” who had seen pictures of me on Facebook and wanted to get to know me…well being that she knows me she told him I wouldn’t get to know him and would just fuck him. (She and I are like one in the same)…

So we’re out drinking and he and I start chatting, the conversation goes like this:

Me: I want to get “cumslut” tattooed on the inside of my bottom lip
Him: that’s cute, I’m sure you’re not though.
Me: the one thing I want before the end of the year is a bukkake with like, 10 dudes.
Him: so you wanna go back to my place?

At first I was like fuck yeah, but then realized he lived an hour fucking away from where my car was, and I’ve got things to do in the morning…so no.

But my HLM then says use my place! You can use my bed! (Did I mention how much I love her??)

By closing time Ryan and I are making out like teenagers in the back of a lyft with 2 other people (a friend who used to work for me and his HLM)… We were THOSE people. My hand was down his pants, he had my tits out and was basically tongue fucking my mouth (we were beyond kissing at this point.)

So we get back to my HLM’s house go upstairs and get down to business…and to give you a time frame, this was at about 2am…I know that because I called Texas to see if he could give is a ride at 1:30.

Anyways, this whole night he’s been talking about how he can’t wait to get in my pussy, and how he wants me to cum all over his face as I’m sucking him off…turn on right?

No. I must have drank way too much because my pussy was more dry than the African savannah. It was a desert down there and I’m not a fool, spit wasn’t going to be enough. So I roll him on his back and take him in my mouth…admittedly, even at half mast with whisky dick, he still had a big dick. Like…big enough that today my jaw hurts.

And I’m not saying I’m a pro or anything at giving head, but I can usually get a guy to cum within 5 minutes. Not this dude…oh no. I had his dick in my mouth for 3 hours. 3. And we tried everything to get him off…69, rimming, throatfucking, etc…and nothing. Then he tells me he’s never gotten off from receiving. (Asshole…should have told me that before I blew my jaw out.)

What he lacked in the ability to cum he more than made up for with the ability to eat pussy. I used to hate it when guys would go down on me…it takes forever and I’m convinced I killed the nerves in my clit. But shit. My god. I’ve never wanted to strap myself onto a mans face like that before. I may or may not have woken up in the middle of the night and sat on his face…maybe 😉 – sidenote, still couldn’t cum from that. I was fighting a losing battle.

So meanwhile, after a pee break I get back in bed and he’s trying so hard to stay hard but the whisky was too much. And I have to say, men if you’re going to fingerbang a woman, trim your nails and know which hole you’re in. At one point, he was in my asshole and said to “god your pussy is tight.” Yeah…because that’s my shit pipe. Sorry to break it to you.

He didn’t actually cum until this morning. When he woke me up by fucking me and sucking on my tits…and when he’s fully hard it’s really fucking good. For a skinny metal head who looks like Brian “Head” Welch from Korn, his dick was huge…definitely not proportionate to his skinny body frame.

And let me say 2 things before I end this:

1) my ability to blow dudes and text at the same time is scary good.

2) you know you’ve got a great group of friends when two of them (females) walk into the bedroom watch you deep throat a dude that one of them has fucked then go get in the shower together. Followed by a third friend who does the same before getting in the shower with them. Then followed by a random dude who came to see where they went, watched you semi-puke on a dudes dick then gets in the shower with the three girls. And the next morning when you tell your HLM you owe her a bottle of lube, they all turn over in the air mattress they slept on, laugh at you and then high-five you.

I have awesome friends.

The Contractor – Spanking

The Contractor is really doing the most right now….on top of the black lilies he sent me, he took me to a casual lunch this week AND bought me these beautiful poppies (IDK why)….so last night when he called me and asked if I wanted to come over so he could cook for me – actually he told me, “I’m cooking, be here at 7:30” – I gladly obliged.

I’ve never been one to enjoy lots of gifts, dates or gestures, but he’s trying hard and I figure it’s not bad to show some appreciation every now and again, right?

So I get there, we eat (a simple sautéed chicken with cilantro, lime and rice) and watch TV. We’re both sitting there making casual conversation when he tells me the reason he’s come on so strong is because since he and I hooked up he can’t stop thinking about it…Through the conversation I kind of express my hesitation to date him (I could get fired) but I’ll admit…my ass only recently stopped throbbing from him last weekend and it was delicious (the feeling and the food).

Just like the weekend before, talking leads to kissing which lead straight to me being bent over his lap getting spanked.

Each hit was extremely calculated…alternating one cheek to the other, his hand striking in the same spot each time. The more I squirmed around the softer his spanks were. He told me that if I really wanted it I’d, “have to take my punishment like a woman” …I don’t think he knows what punishment is because this was nothing but pleasure for me. I was turned on and ready to go and was loving the attention from him but he refused to do anymore than that.

He kept me there, on his lap, spanking me while we were watching Lost Girl for hours. He got to a point where he would hit me intermittently with no real rhyme or reason to it…. I did feel him at one point getting hard, at which point I tried my damnedest to wiggle around enough so that I might be able to get my hands down his pants but to no avail. Ugh. I just really wanted him to give me a repeat of last weekend….but no. When he got tired and his hand got sore from spanking me all night, we went to bed where he spooned me and rubbed my tushy and talked me to sleep, which I’ve actually come to love since being involved with Texas…so thanks for showing me the softer side of sleeping with people lol…

And even though all I wanted was to have the feelings fucked out of me by The Contractor, he didn’t. He just spanked me for hours until his hand got tired…I don’t think he gives a damn about what I want in this case 😉

Side note, I woke up about 20 minutes ago feeling sick as a dog. As much as I’d like to stay in bed with a warm body, I need to go home. This is the worst time for me to get sick.

The hockey player

Texas was out watching hockey with his friends today and that reminded me of the time I dated a hockey player when I was younger….he was a friend of the family I always had a crush on growing up. He ended up playing on a WHL team and on the ice was an aggressive powerhouse of a right wing. Watching him move over the ice gracefully only to collide with the other players with the force of a freight train was amazing to me. Granted, he had a lot of aggression that landed him in the penalty box most of the time but it was still hot.

After a while we started dating and I became that obnoxious girlfriend in the stands. But it was because I knew depending on how the game went, I’d get a good rough fucking afterwards. I needed them to win…my vagina depended on it.

There was one particular night that they won and I was waiting for him to come out so we could go grab dinner and go home so I could score (wink, wink). He called me and told me to come into the locker room because he had something to show me. When I got in there everyone was gone except for him and he was sitting on a bench. He said he always wanted to fuck in the locker room. He was a big dude naturally. 6’5, 250lbs and looked menacing as hell in normal clothes…his pads doubled his build. His cock matched his body. Average length but thick like a summer sausage. I was addicted to his dick.

The fantasy of fucking him in the locker room had passed through my mind before but I never thought to act on it. So I walked over to him and asked him why he wanted to do it tonight and he told me it was because he didn’t have enough on the ice. He unzipped my pants and slid his hand around to my backside and started massaging my ass roughly. Grabbing it and holding on like it was going to run away. I told him we could get caught (which turned me on) and that he should just wait until we got home. He slid a finger into my cunt and pulled me closer so he was kissing my pubic bone….god damn it felt so good. It was sensual and exciting and just enough to make me orgasm after a few minutes. I sat on his lap while he started to finger my ass slowly. One finger then two. At that point I hadn’t really toyed around with anal so the feeling was interesting. But all I could focus on was his cock, hard under the weight of me. He had gym sweats on and I could feel him reacting to me grinding my hips on him and biting his neck.

He told me to get up and bend over the bench so he could fuck me. He started slowly, teasing my pussy by running it back and forth over my lips. He’d stick the tip in then take it out. It felt like torture for me. All I wanted was to be fucked and used. When he finally decided to enter me he did it slowly and meticulously. I couldn’t figure out why he was taking his time when usually he fucked me with reckless abandon.

When I pleaded for him to fuck me like usual he pulled out all together and told me to take of my shirt and lay down on my back on the bench. He sucked and bit my nipples until they felt like they were going to bleed. He reached his hand down over my vagina and gave it a smack. I’d never had that happen to me before so it shocked me and the second I yelped his hand flew to my mouth to muffle my screams. He continued to slap my cunt until he moved his hand to my throat and closed around it.

He positioned himself straddling me and the bench and pulled my body to his until I could feel his dick against my pussy again. I tried desperately to grab it and make him enter me but he wanted to do that on his own and to this day in glad he did. When he thrust into me he was still holding onto my throat and slammed into me hard like he did to the guys on the ice. He just kept ramming me, grabbing at my tits and slapping them as they moved in motion to his stroke. He ran his fingernails over my breasts and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I screamed, SCREAMED his name and was grasping for anything I could hold onto.

After I finally came down off that orgasm he pulled out to titty fuck me. He fucked them just as hard as he did my pussy. He was amused by giving me pearl necklaces and this was no exception. He always giggled as he was titty fucking me. On his upstroke I sucked and licked the tip of him until he held my head down so he could give me my coveted necklace…

We only ever fucked in the locker room once because we stopped seeing each other shortly after that. Then I found out he got arrested for murder a few years later..I think I dodged a bullet with that one.

Compliments and kisses

So last night, I promised my friends I’d take it easy…no heavy drinking or partying…which was easy until about midnight when I got home from a friends house. I was invited to my neighbors house party earlier and originally declined but decided to venture over there anyways.

He and I had hooked up in the past a few times and truth he told he was an average lay. But last night because I was feeling kind of down and lame I wanted some attention from the male species….there’s going to come a time in the near future where I may not be as attractive as I am now and mentally I feel the need to capitalize on it while I can.

I started talking to this guy named Little Feather (really), and he was exactly what I needed in that moment. Full of compliments for me, which of course boosted my ego. We’re sitting in the living room with probably 25 other people around but all I could focus on was his lips. They looked like two soft pillows that could bring me great pleasure.

I really wasn’t looking for anything more than a make out session…because deep down I’m a horny school girl who likes to be a cock-tease…

Little Feather is an amazing kisser. Not just in the sense that his face-pillows were luscious as fuck, but his hands were all over me. Spanking me, pulling my hair, cupping my face, grabbing my breasts. He stuck his hands down the back of my pants and was massaging my ass which I actually really enjoy but usually post-fucking.

I haven’t made out like that since high school. I don’t know how long we went at it but when I finally had enough (beard burn) we got a round of applause.

God I really love making out.